Classic.
The other guy syndrome.
No matter how much you think you're winning, someone else wins. Someone who should win. Someone who is more right than you. But that doesn;t stop your hopes from being dashed does it?
That doesn't stop you from wondering about what you could've changed or done differently does it?
Friday, December 28, 2007
Friday, December 07, 2007
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Here is Love
Here is Love.
As vast as oceans deep.
As wide as open valleys.
This is Love.
Love victorious.
Love courageous.
Love strong.
Love that never ends.
Love that casts away hurt and pain.
Love that searches through the depths of a mans heart
Love that knitted you together in your mothers womb.
Love that has been where I have been,
is with me now,
and knows where I am going.
This is Love.
Love that finds the lost.
That cares for the lonely and comforts those in need.
This is Love.
Love that stretches its arms as far as the east is from the west.
Love that signed a new covenant.
A Love that bears the weight of the world and hears its prayers day after day.
As vast as oceans deep.
As wide as open valleys.
This is Love.
Love victorious.
Love courageous.
Love strong.
Love that never ends.
Love that casts away hurt and pain.
Love that searches through the depths of a mans heart
Love that knitted you together in your mothers womb.
Love that has been where I have been,
is with me now,
and knows where I am going.
This is Love.
Love that finds the lost.
That cares for the lonely and comforts those in need.
This is Love.
Love that stretches its arms as far as the east is from the west.
Love that signed a new covenant.
A Love that bears the weight of the world and hears its prayers day after day.
Love that gave blood, sweat and tears.
That overcame temptation and the grave.
That once and for all declared
That overcame temptation and the grave.
That once and for all declared
'IT IS FINISHED'
This is the Love I know.
The Love I give.
The Love I have.
This is Jesus.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Do your clouds stop his voice?
Hearts aren't really our guides.
We are truly alone.
'Cause God ain't up in the sky,
Holding together our bones.
Remember we used to speak.
Now I'm starting to think,
Your voice was really my own,
Bouncing off the ceiling back to me.
God, this can't be.
God, this can't be,
God, could it be that all we see is it?
Won't you come down, heaven.
Won't you come down?
Won't you cut through the clouds?
Won't you come down?
(Did your clouds stop his voice?)
Oh, my heaven, why do you have doors to close?
Do you have clouds to stop his voice?
God, this can't be.
God, this can't be,
God, could it be that all we see is it?
God, does grace reach to this side of madness?
'Cause I know this can't be,
The great peace we all seek.
Come down, heaven.
Won't you come down?
Won't you cut through the clouds?
Won't you come down?
As Cities Burn - Contact
We are truly alone.
'Cause God ain't up in the sky,
Holding together our bones.
Remember we used to speak.
Now I'm starting to think,
Your voice was really my own,
Bouncing off the ceiling back to me.
God, this can't be.
God, this can't be,
God, could it be that all we see is it?
Won't you come down, heaven.
Won't you come down?
Won't you cut through the clouds?
Won't you come down?
(Did your clouds stop his voice?)
Oh, my heaven, why do you have doors to close?
Do you have clouds to stop his voice?
God, this can't be.
God, this can't be,
God, could it be that all we see is it?
God, does grace reach to this side of madness?
'Cause I know this can't be,
The great peace we all seek.
Come down, heaven.
Won't you come down?
Won't you cut through the clouds?
Won't you come down?
As Cities Burn - Contact
Monday, November 26, 2007
Have...
...you ever met someone who is part of everything you wanted to be part of and everything you wanted to be?
Have you ever wished for a life less ordinary?
Have you ever endured a frustration that you can do nothing to change?
This is one of those things that will work out in time.
Wishing life on a desert island was an option.
Have you ever wished for a life less ordinary?
Have you ever endured a frustration that you can do nothing to change?
This is one of those things that will work out in time.
Wishing life on a desert island was an option.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Why?
This is just an exploration for my spirit. I’m in the midst of writing a song of which the chorus presently goes like this:
‘O Lord,
We come to you,
With praises on our hearts,
Praises on our hearts.’
And abstractly, I think that to write a full song about the praises of God that come from my heart I need to understand just why it is that I praise God.
So that leads me to the question, why do we praise someone/thing?
When would it be appropriate to praise a child or loved one?
Why on earth would we praise God?
Because of all that he’s done, all that is doing and all that he will do. Because he is the same yesterday, today and forever. Because he sent his son, he sent love for me and the entirety of humanity.
Why do you go on a Sunday morning to sing songs to God? How do you determine whether or not someone is worthy of praise?
I talk about someone/thing - I mean God.
Surely, as the people of God…or any monarch, principality or power, we should praise that which we declare is sovereign over us?
So it would then be fair so put as point 1, that we praise God because it is our duty. It is our privilege through rain or shine to lift up our ruler. Our provider.
God is the creator of all things. I think it ties in with point 1, with God being sovereign, I think that we praise God because that is what he made us for. And in my mind there is no greater act for the collective body of God to do than to come together and raise their voices and spirits in agreement, lifting up the name of God.
Back to the root question, Why praise God?
Why would you come to God with praise? I think as much as anything else that we say to God, he hears our praises. Just as Matt Redman wrote in the song Blessed Be Your Name, ‘You give and take away, you give and take away, but still my heart will say, Lord, Blessed be your name’.
Because the praises and prayers (which I think go hand in hand) mixed with faith moves God. I think that when his people respond earnestly both individually and corporately, then God hears that. God will hear the one heartfelt, whisper of a cry amongst a barrage of clanging cymbals.
God is the same yesterday and forever. As is all that he has done for us. Those saved and unsaved. His mercies endure forever.
Which leads me to ask, what exactly is it that God has done for me?
I guess I’ll tackle the biblical things first.
God has given me salvation – a term which I think perhaps used rather carelessly these days and a topic which is seemingly larger than I at first may have estimated.
Salvation as I understand it is the ballpark are of what Jesus has done for me. Well ok, let me refine that…it is what is given to me through what Jesus has done for me. It is the gift of eternal life and right-standing with God the Father.
And through salvation, I have been given the gift of the Holy Spirit. The same spirit that lives in Christ, lives in me. The Holy Spirit is an immense tool and resource that as a Christian I have access to. With the Spirit of God comes power, healing (all sorts of healing – both physical and emotional), creativity, dreams & visions, insight into the word of God and so much more.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Saviour of the World
In a random way...I still live in Christian city. And it's giving me a headache...the books...they're a paragraph on their own.
So thus beginneth my rant.
Ok...this isn't a rant. This is a headache.
This is a tired 22 year old watching the last disc of season 5 of 24.
With countless books sprawled across his mess of a room marked 2, 3, or 4 chapters in. Some are even audaciously marked at chapter 10/14...but very very few actually finished.
Just what is it that I'm trying to achieve? What is it that I'm putting off from doing?
I have a job...I am a worship leader...I am a bass player...
What do I want to be? What do I want to become?
I understand that the whole thing is a journey yadda yadda yadda.
But you know what I kinda feel like I have another useless analogy for where I am in life...and for what is going on in my head. It's one that I'm sure you have seen and heard many a time.
So this weekend gone, my housemate and I decide on an impromptu road trip to the sweet sweet city of Paris.
We leave at 230am Saturday morning and drive to Dover...Hop on a Euro Tunnel train £98 lighter and sleep our way into Calais. We drive for an hour or so seducing the sun to rise sweetly as we carve our way south on the wrong side of the road.
So we stop, we have a coffee, we sleep, then we continue au droit into sweet Paris.
So some road, a couple of toll booths, and a big French stadium pass.
We walk 7 miles (approx) from car park to Eiffel Tower passing through Hindu districts and red light districts, stopping off at 'authentic' art dealers, a rustic cafe where our disability to speak or understand French becomes inherently clear.
SO...long story short.
We walk back another 7 miles to the car and attempt to drive out and find a public house that will serve us some chilled refreshments and allow us to watch the reason we drove (well Dave drove...I 'copiloted'...but that's another story) goodness knows how many hundreds of miles.
So we walk out of the pub post Rugby with our tails between our legs and blisters nagging away at our ankles.
And thus begins the avid search. For our way home. The road bearing the name A1...and thus turning into E15.
Sounds simple enough right?
You could NOT be more wrong.
We then seem to endure what seems to be roughly a 90 minute detour, frustrated exchanges of words debating what turnoffs we should or should not have taken, and the French Police. By God these guys don't like English tourists. Or tired English sportsfans who try and race through an 'amber' light. Last time we try that on the continent.
But it was all fine. We got on the A1 eventually and got back on the train, and slept...I think I owe it to Dave to make it known that I sacrificed the last change we had on a Cappuccino...for myself.
In my defence...Dave was having a quick kip...and my logic led me to believe that he would get sufficient restoration from 15 minutes of light napping...
Being tired can do that to you.
So all in all...a wonderful adventure I assure you - we both got back in time to play music at church and spent our Sunday afternoons on sofas sleeping the whole thing off.
My point.
Is that you know where you want to go. In your head. But your experience at your destination can be rushed, tiring, and can even give you blisters on your feet because you park the car an unusually far distance from where you actually want to go.
My focus is our journey out.
You see I would like to wager that had we stayed in a hostel somewhere and not tried to race back for Sunday morning then we wouldn;t have got lost. We wouldn't have taken the same detour along the A86 and A3 (there is one in Paris...imagine just how sweet it would've been if we had stumbled upon a teleportation road that took us straight back to Guildford...one can only dream...) and I know that I wouldn't have spent 2 hours of the journey punching Dave and asking him stupid questions in a last ditch effort to keep him awake.
Yes I saw a Petrol station on the way home...but I thought it would be funny to see what sleep deprivation did to the driver of a car obviously.
Though life can be likened to a journey somewhere or a road trip that we are all seemingly on, if we do not take the appropriate time out, we end up making rash decisions, the same mistakes repeatedly and we waste time. Time that could be spent elsewhere more effectively.
Does that make sense?
I think it will...and I know it's an analogy that has many times been explained.
The heart behind it is that I'm tired and I need to sleep it off. I need to recover. I need to take back the parts of my heart that have been chipped away over months of work and no rest.
And I do not think that it is ever a bad thing to do those things.
But it's just finding the time right?...
Ironic no?
x x
So thus beginneth my rant.
Ok...this isn't a rant. This is a headache.
This is a tired 22 year old watching the last disc of season 5 of 24.
With countless books sprawled across his mess of a room marked 2, 3, or 4 chapters in. Some are even audaciously marked at chapter 10/14...but very very few actually finished.
Just what is it that I'm trying to achieve? What is it that I'm putting off from doing?
I have a job...I am a worship leader...I am a bass player...
What do I want to be? What do I want to become?
I understand that the whole thing is a journey yadda yadda yadda.
But you know what I kinda feel like I have another useless analogy for where I am in life...and for what is going on in my head. It's one that I'm sure you have seen and heard many a time.
So this weekend gone, my housemate and I decide on an impromptu road trip to the sweet sweet city of Paris.
We leave at 230am Saturday morning and drive to Dover...Hop on a Euro Tunnel train £98 lighter and sleep our way into Calais. We drive for an hour or so seducing the sun to rise sweetly as we carve our way south on the wrong side of the road.
So we stop, we have a coffee, we sleep, then we continue au droit into sweet Paris.
So some road, a couple of toll booths, and a big French stadium pass.
We walk 7 miles (approx) from car park to Eiffel Tower passing through Hindu districts and red light districts, stopping off at 'authentic' art dealers, a rustic cafe where our disability to speak or understand French becomes inherently clear.
SO...long story short.
We walk back another 7 miles to the car and attempt to drive out and find a public house that will serve us some chilled refreshments and allow us to watch the reason we drove (well Dave drove...I 'copiloted'...but that's another story) goodness knows how many hundreds of miles.
So we walk out of the pub post Rugby with our tails between our legs and blisters nagging away at our ankles.
And thus begins the avid search. For our way home. The road bearing the name A1...and thus turning into E15.
Sounds simple enough right?
You could NOT be more wrong.
We then seem to endure what seems to be roughly a 90 minute detour, frustrated exchanges of words debating what turnoffs we should or should not have taken, and the French Police. By God these guys don't like English tourists. Or tired English sportsfans who try and race through an 'amber' light. Last time we try that on the continent.
But it was all fine. We got on the A1 eventually and got back on the train, and slept...I think I owe it to Dave to make it known that I sacrificed the last change we had on a Cappuccino...for myself.
In my defence...Dave was having a quick kip...and my logic led me to believe that he would get sufficient restoration from 15 minutes of light napping...
Being tired can do that to you.
So all in all...a wonderful adventure I assure you - we both got back in time to play music at church and spent our Sunday afternoons on sofas sleeping the whole thing off.
My point.
Is that you know where you want to go. In your head. But your experience at your destination can be rushed, tiring, and can even give you blisters on your feet because you park the car an unusually far distance from where you actually want to go.
My focus is our journey out.
You see I would like to wager that had we stayed in a hostel somewhere and not tried to race back for Sunday morning then we wouldn;t have got lost. We wouldn't have taken the same detour along the A86 and A3 (there is one in Paris...imagine just how sweet it would've been if we had stumbled upon a teleportation road that took us straight back to Guildford...one can only dream...) and I know that I wouldn't have spent 2 hours of the journey punching Dave and asking him stupid questions in a last ditch effort to keep him awake.
Yes I saw a Petrol station on the way home...but I thought it would be funny to see what sleep deprivation did to the driver of a car obviously.
Though life can be likened to a journey somewhere or a road trip that we are all seemingly on, if we do not take the appropriate time out, we end up making rash decisions, the same mistakes repeatedly and we waste time. Time that could be spent elsewhere more effectively.
Does that make sense?
I think it will...and I know it's an analogy that has many times been explained.
The heart behind it is that I'm tired and I need to sleep it off. I need to recover. I need to take back the parts of my heart that have been chipped away over months of work and no rest.
And I do not think that it is ever a bad thing to do those things.
But it's just finding the time right?...
Ironic no?
x x
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Bless this mess
I kinda don;t know what it is that I want to say this morning.
I woke sharply this morning after a good refreshing 8 hours sleep.
I just spent the last 56 minutes perched on my windowsill anticipating the rising of the sun. Finally figuring that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. That's the right way round isn't it?
I watched Garden State last night. Now..I'm no cinematography analyst but that film was not very good. I mean sure...it painted a wonderful picture of the boy who felt nothing because his grouch of a father put him on medication and sent him away...but I'm sorry...the whole thing was just quite nothingy.
I mean the bit where he kisses Natalie Portman? Not convinced.
I guess I am just still in a weird place.
I understand that alot of what I'm typing is just going to come across as cryptic nonsense and unless you know me that's what it will remain.
I'm confused by the presence of God. By what it is. By what ushers it into a place. Is it the heart of one man? The collective heart of many? Or is it the sound that rises up from a place?
I personally don;t think that God is moved by a sound. I don;t think that God cares about how polished something looks. He cares about the heart with which we bring what we have be it amazing or terrible.
Imagine this:
A 4 year old child arrives home at 1130am having spent the last 2 and a half hours in nursery. It gives mum a break while she nurses the newborn and dad is at the office paying the bills and keeping the roof over their heads.
Now the 4 year old comes home having spent a good hour of the morning painting a picture of the family. As 4 year olds go, this painting is going to be their impression of the family. It's their heart on canvas.
The child presents the picture to mum and what do you think her reaction will be?
'Oh sorry...You really think I'm going to put that anywhere on public display? That's hardly presentable for people to see. That's going straight into a drawer'
or
That's amazing! Who's that?...and how long did it take you? This is going straight up on the fridge you little artist.'
Ok so here's the point I guess I'm trying to get out.
Does God really give a damn about the quality of what we give? I think that yes, it is important to give our best to God, but not at the price of our hearts. If you sacrifice the heart behind something then it might as well not be done.
The reason I sing praise to God is because I love him. I pray and I pray and I pray that it never becomes a chore. That singing praises to God never becomes void of any heart on my behalf.
I guess I am just privately questioning the reason behind some things that I put so much into.
I'll leave you with this:
God, I would much rather sing as a child draws than to paint as a superstar plays. Strike any pride from within me and keep me humble I pray.
Does that make sense?
I woke sharply this morning after a good refreshing 8 hours sleep.
I just spent the last 56 minutes perched on my windowsill anticipating the rising of the sun. Finally figuring that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. That's the right way round isn't it?
I watched Garden State last night. Now..I'm no cinematography analyst but that film was not very good. I mean sure...it painted a wonderful picture of the boy who felt nothing because his grouch of a father put him on medication and sent him away...but I'm sorry...the whole thing was just quite nothingy.
I mean the bit where he kisses Natalie Portman? Not convinced.
I guess I am just still in a weird place.
I understand that alot of what I'm typing is just going to come across as cryptic nonsense and unless you know me that's what it will remain.
I'm confused by the presence of God. By what it is. By what ushers it into a place. Is it the heart of one man? The collective heart of many? Or is it the sound that rises up from a place?
I personally don;t think that God is moved by a sound. I don;t think that God cares about how polished something looks. He cares about the heart with which we bring what we have be it amazing or terrible.
Imagine this:
A 4 year old child arrives home at 1130am having spent the last 2 and a half hours in nursery. It gives mum a break while she nurses the newborn and dad is at the office paying the bills and keeping the roof over their heads.
Now the 4 year old comes home having spent a good hour of the morning painting a picture of the family. As 4 year olds go, this painting is going to be their impression of the family. It's their heart on canvas.
The child presents the picture to mum and what do you think her reaction will be?
'Oh sorry...You really think I'm going to put that anywhere on public display? That's hardly presentable for people to see. That's going straight into a drawer'
or
That's amazing! Who's that?...and how long did it take you? This is going straight up on the fridge you little artist.'
Ok so here's the point I guess I'm trying to get out.
Does God really give a damn about the quality of what we give? I think that yes, it is important to give our best to God, but not at the price of our hearts. If you sacrifice the heart behind something then it might as well not be done.
The reason I sing praise to God is because I love him. I pray and I pray and I pray that it never becomes a chore. That singing praises to God never becomes void of any heart on my behalf.
I guess I am just privately questioning the reason behind some things that I put so much into.
I'll leave you with this:
God, I would much rather sing as a child draws than to paint as a superstar plays. Strike any pride from within me and keep me humble I pray.
Does that make sense?
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Seeing Clearly
I was reading my bible notes this morning before I began some work from the home office... and we've finished the lil stint in the Psalms which was cool.
Now it's onto the centre of life as such - Jesus.
Mark 8 v 22-26
Think of how you first came to Jesus. Think of the people who led you to him.
I am now going to skip out a big chunk of content from the study guide and just go onto the questions at the end of todays notes.
Where is your focus today?
Is your mind consumed by your problems, or are you looking to Jesus?
Only he can set us free to worship God, only he can give is a new perspective.
I am praying for his perspective. I am praying for his heart. I am praying that I can just learn to 'be'. I think about things too much..as some of you may well know. But I think I need to think less about things...and learn to be. I think that when you learn to be relaxed - in your esteem and with who you are, then there's great power found...because there's a clear line of sight.
The response section of the notes talks about allowing my problems to take their rightful place - in the hands of God.
So in an attempt to see more clearly, I am imposing a fast as such. I am not going to be on myspace until Monday. That's...4 days. I shall be fasting all food until Sunday dinner time in the evening.
During this time, I'm praying for church, our pastor, the worship which I'm leading on Sunday and the things that are upon my heart.
My chains are gone I've been set free,
My God my Saviour has ransomed me,
And like a flood his mercy rains,
Amazing Love, Amazing Grace.
I will be on txt and my mobile.
Big love to the whole world.
Dan x x
Now it's onto the centre of life as such - Jesus.
Mark 8 v 22-26
Think of how you first came to Jesus. Think of the people who led you to him.
I am now going to skip out a big chunk of content from the study guide and just go onto the questions at the end of todays notes.
Where is your focus today?
Is your mind consumed by your problems, or are you looking to Jesus?
Only he can set us free to worship God, only he can give is a new perspective.
I am praying for his perspective. I am praying for his heart. I am praying that I can just learn to 'be'. I think about things too much..as some of you may well know. But I think I need to think less about things...and learn to be. I think that when you learn to be relaxed - in your esteem and with who you are, then there's great power found...because there's a clear line of sight.
The response section of the notes talks about allowing my problems to take their rightful place - in the hands of God.
So in an attempt to see more clearly, I am imposing a fast as such. I am not going to be on myspace until Monday. That's...4 days. I shall be fasting all food until Sunday dinner time in the evening.
During this time, I'm praying for church, our pastor, the worship which I'm leading on Sunday and the things that are upon my heart.
My chains are gone I've been set free,
My God my Saviour has ransomed me,
And like a flood his mercy rains,
Amazing Love, Amazing Grace.
I will be on txt and my mobile.
Big love to the whole world.
Dan x x
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
The Great Romance
There are a lot of things going on right now that in all honesty I just don't understand. I understand principles, but not circumstances.
I'm over-using the phrases 'I guess' and 'does that make sense?' because life is a lot of guess work and not much makes sense.
In all honesty.
It's late on Wednesday night and I'm visiting the days of being a 17 year old boy whose weeks were music and cigarrettes and weekends were breakfast shifts at McDonalds. Everyone know music is powerful and in a moment can send a 22 yr old back to being 19 on the phone smoking sneakily out the bedroom window.
I'm trying to make head and tail of some...seemingly pressing things and it doesn't help that my thought process is near broke.
Take every thought captive right?
As the great saying goes, God moves in mysterious ways.
Well my mind works in ways of mystery that quite frankly I at times, don't appreciate. I tend to overlook the day to day things and just stare straight into the far and distant future. Which in itself isn't all that bad..I mean..a man without foresight is blind?..I made that up actually..
I guess, as identified by my personal psychologist, I don't have a problem with the Big Picture God. I believe that ultimately he is in control and is the sovereign Lord of my life.
But in the day to day? I have a problem. Though I have seen Gods amazing hand of provision
countless times in just the last year is astounding..yet I still have trouble hoping for the day to day things.
Hope is dangerous isn't it? You hope..you can get hurt..or your hope can be justified. But why is it that there is so little faith in the justification of hope in comparison to the amount of doubt?
That's not human nature..that's just plain pessimism.
Does that make sense?
God, why is this seemingly straight and narrow road, so bent?
x x
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
I tell you what.
There's something that stirs inside of me when I see this video:Point of Difference.
I don;t know why...well I do know. Because I know that is what I want to be doing.
I'm not saying that I want to be hairy and Australian...I mean I'd like to be hairy but that;s besides the point.
The point is that with all the words and things that God has shown me, I still don't have a song that I have written.
Someone said something that kinda sent a shock down my spine today:
'God doesn't get annoyed when we do stuff we can't do. He gets annoyed when we don;t do stuff he's told us we can do.'
Now I've had various words from people about writing songs for church and stuff...and I want so very much to write music. And God himself has told me in a vision I had that 'you sound the way you do because I made you that way.'
It's a battle of valuing who you are enough to take the risks.
I remember I used to sit down and write page after page of words. More just emptying my head of all my teen angst I guess, but the words were coming out.
I PRAY for the integrity and creativity of the Holy Spirit.
(Currently reading The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe and Listening to As Cities Burn - Come Now Sleep)
There's something that stirs inside of me when I see this video:Point of Difference.
I don;t know why...well I do know. Because I know that is what I want to be doing.
I'm not saying that I want to be hairy and Australian...I mean I'd like to be hairy but that;s besides the point.
The point is that with all the words and things that God has shown me, I still don't have a song that I have written.
Someone said something that kinda sent a shock down my spine today:
'God doesn't get annoyed when we do stuff we can't do. He gets annoyed when we don;t do stuff he's told us we can do.'
Now I've had various words from people about writing songs for church and stuff...and I want so very much to write music. And God himself has told me in a vision I had that 'you sound the way you do because I made you that way.'
It's a battle of valuing who you are enough to take the risks.
I remember I used to sit down and write page after page of words. More just emptying my head of all my teen angst I guess, but the words were coming out.
I PRAY for the integrity and creativity of the Holy Spirit.
(Currently reading The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe and Listening to As Cities Burn - Come Now Sleep)
Monday, September 10, 2007
Just a couple of things:
Here are a couple of points that I nicked from an article on the Relevant Magazine website.
1.) It’s hard to feel all that comfortable when you know you’ve left bits and pieces of your self and your soul behind, and failed to value them the way God does. But they can grow back.
2.) Here’s my word of wisdom from the other side of singleness: It’s who you are when you’re single that sets the course for who you’ll be all your life. Be whole, and yes, holy—don’t give yourself away. You’ll miss the pieces you let go.
I must say...I feel a bit more at ease about life...haha momentarily.
x
1.) It’s hard to feel all that comfortable when you know you’ve left bits and pieces of your self and your soul behind, and failed to value them the way God does. But they can grow back.
2.) Here’s my word of wisdom from the other side of singleness: It’s who you are when you’re single that sets the course for who you’ll be all your life. Be whole, and yes, holy—don’t give yourself away. You’ll miss the pieces you let go.
I must say...I feel a bit more at ease about life...haha momentarily.
x
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Let me say
That going it alone is hard. And if I'm honest - no man should have to...well no man does have to does he?
What am I on about?
Well, as I was walking home I was trying to go through some musical ideas in my head and see how they would work for church. You see, I want to write songs for church..it's something that I feel in my blood.
So I was running a couple of little phrases and I was just thinking...what's the difference between a song...you know just a plain song...and something that a congregation/group of people can sing?
I guess as with any kind of creativity, it is a matter of practice...right? Like writing or drawing or whatever...it's a matter of getting into the flow and getting used to it.
I prayed for a way to record and develop ideas. And I have a laptop infront of me that I am sure God gave me. So now I pray for the integrity and creativity.
In all honesty...I'm tired...and long to get some things out of my spirit.
So I keep praying.
And I keep reading the letters in red..til the end of days.
What am I on about?
Well, as I was walking home I was trying to go through some musical ideas in my head and see how they would work for church. You see, I want to write songs for church..it's something that I feel in my blood.
So I was running a couple of little phrases and I was just thinking...what's the difference between a song...you know just a plain song...and something that a congregation/group of people can sing?
I guess as with any kind of creativity, it is a matter of practice...right? Like writing or drawing or whatever...it's a matter of getting into the flow and getting used to it.
I prayed for a way to record and develop ideas. And I have a laptop infront of me that I am sure God gave me. So now I pray for the integrity and creativity.
In all honesty...I'm tired...and long to get some things out of my spirit.
So I keep praying.
And I keep reading the letters in red..til the end of days.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
What is the vision? I know Pete Greig begins his challenge of discipleship with that statement, but in all honesty...it's a good question right?The vision is a journey.
The visions is a body making the decision that they want to join in on the journey.
Where are we headed?
The top of a mountain and through the clouds to a place where oxygen is thin and eagles daren't fly.
Up there fires bure and waters flow.
Life lives.
We all pour out our hearts and physical energies on the climb up the sheer mountain side grazing our knees and scarping our elbows.
But what does that matter to us?
For we know whom we seek.
And we shall seek his glorious face for all our days.
I am a reflection of that glorious face and so are you - so delicately crafted to stand as a giant among dwarves.
I'm sure I've written this many times.
Or atleast that i am beginning to.
But we love because God first loved. We love because God so loved the world that he gave his only son.
That NONE would perish.
My struggle is the response that we give.
It is simply that. It is a response. It's not a show, it's not songs or people.
It is what our voices and hearts were made to do.
Does that make sense?
I never want to be part of a show.
And I regularly pray that if pride creeps into my bones, that God will break me down and humble me. God doesn't need me to lift up his name in a show. He made me to lift up his name and worship.
Christ is the vision.
Christ is the reason.
This is it.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
I just got back in from a walk around my favourite little espace 10 minutes walk down the road along the river.
I decided to nick my housemates ipod seeming as mine has declared itself legally dead so that I could spend some time in an open space just singing.
Have you ever tried to press into God and just felt a brick wall stopping you from getting anywhere? You'll open your mouth and boldly form the words
'Father God...'
and...that's all you can get out. You search your mind for words and it's as though you are searching a vast brick wall that has no graffiti on it. None of the memories, thoughts or laments of your heart are there. Then an acute desperation hits...but you soon forget about it because God is always there right?
But this evening I went out with a view to exalt (ooh I like that word) God because that's what God made me to do and singing is how I love to do it.
It's the times when you feel God is the furthest away that actually he is closest (as cliche and overused that analogy is).
We see God in intense visions, worship experiences where we cry and prophecy and speak feverishly in tongues, then God steps back and says
'Now you draw close to me'.
That's the challenge. Some of us run into church and expect each Sunday to be God smacking us around the face and squeezing our hearts the whole 2 hours. But the rest of the week what are we doing?
Read this and think about it for a second:
I decided to nick my housemates ipod seeming as mine has declared itself legally dead so that I could spend some time in an open space just singing.
Have you ever tried to press into God and just felt a brick wall stopping you from getting anywhere? You'll open your mouth and boldly form the words
'Father God...'
and...that's all you can get out. You search your mind for words and it's as though you are searching a vast brick wall that has no graffiti on it. None of the memories, thoughts or laments of your heart are there. Then an acute desperation hits...but you soon forget about it because God is always there right?
But this evening I went out with a view to exalt (ooh I like that word) God because that's what God made me to do and singing is how I love to do it.
It's the times when you feel God is the furthest away that actually he is closest (as cliche and overused that analogy is).
We see God in intense visions, worship experiences where we cry and prophecy and speak feverishly in tongues, then God steps back and says
'Now you draw close to me'.
That's the challenge. Some of us run into church and expect each Sunday to be God smacking us around the face and squeezing our hearts the whole 2 hours. But the rest of the week what are we doing?
Read this and think about it for a second:
The vision?
The vision is JESUS.
Obsessively.
Dangerously.
Undeniably.
JESUS.
(The Vision & The Vow-Pete Greig)
The vision is JESUS.
Obsessively.
Dangerously.
Undeniably.
JESUS.
(The Vision & The Vow-Pete Greig)
As I walked along the river this evening I saw what seemed to be a picture straight out of scripture.
I saw what I could only describe as fog hovering over the waters.
I saw what I could only describe as fog hovering over the waters.
'Now the earth was formless...
and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters' (Genesis ch1v2 NIV)
It was almost as though God was saying something...what I think is for me to figure out and for you to figure if this has made any impact on you whatsoever.
So as I pray and I sing, I want to push into God and into the heart of Jesus.
I want to understand and touch the love that put nails through the hands and feet of the son of God. Surely this man saw something worthwhile in the world and those that would fill it. Jesus is the cause.
I seek.
I pray.
I sing and I cry out for that heart.
and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters' (Genesis ch1v2 NIV)
It was almost as though God was saying something...what I think is for me to figure out and for you to figure if this has made any impact on you whatsoever.
So as I pray and I sing, I want to push into God and into the heart of Jesus.
I want to understand and touch the love that put nails through the hands and feet of the son of God. Surely this man saw something worthwhile in the world and those that would fill it. Jesus is the cause.
I seek.
I pray.
I sing and I cry out for that heart.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Something about an Irresistable Revolution
I feel as though the very basis of my faith has been shaken.
You know why?...because it's almost as though my faith in God has no basis. It's just a way of life.
I am a martyr without a cause.
In complete honesty I would lay down my life for my way of life more than for justice, for others...which is crap.
And I have no idea of how to get the cause...
I want to stand up.
I want to go and learn what justice is.
I guess I could read of it in the bible...that would be the 'christian' thing right?
But to me words are just words.
I can;t see them.
I can;t feel them, smell them or taste them.
O God.
Let us stand rather than expect the world to fall into our hands. Let us go with love.
I pray for the heart of Jesus.
I pray for the same heart that sent a man to die on a cross for people he didn;t know, but would come to know him in time.
I pray for the same heart that sent Nehemiah to Jerusalem some 140 years post the destruction of the city to rebuild the Church that laid in ruins.
I pray and I fast.
I fast and I pray.
Like I've said before. If we are not radicals, then what is the point? What is the point in having our lives so sorted if we are not living with love for those Jesus told us to love.
I want to love with the heart of Christ.
That is all.
That's the only thing I want in life. Forget salaries and cars and houses and a lifestyle. What is it without love?
God - show me.
You know why?...because it's almost as though my faith in God has no basis. It's just a way of life.
I am a martyr without a cause.
In complete honesty I would lay down my life for my way of life more than for justice, for others...which is crap.
And I have no idea of how to get the cause...
I want to stand up.
I want to go and learn what justice is.
I guess I could read of it in the bible...that would be the 'christian' thing right?
But to me words are just words.
I can;t see them.
I can;t feel them, smell them or taste them.
O God.
Let us stand rather than expect the world to fall into our hands. Let us go with love.
I pray for the heart of Jesus.
I pray for the same heart that sent a man to die on a cross for people he didn;t know, but would come to know him in time.
I pray for the same heart that sent Nehemiah to Jerusalem some 140 years post the destruction of the city to rebuild the Church that laid in ruins.
I pray and I fast.
I fast and I pray.
Like I've said before. If we are not radicals, then what is the point? What is the point in having our lives so sorted if we are not living with love for those Jesus told us to love.
I want to love with the heart of Christ.
That is all.
That's the only thing I want in life. Forget salaries and cars and houses and a lifestyle. What is it without love?
God - show me.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Appointed?
Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? And now, Sovereign Lord, in addition to everything else, you speak of giving me a lasting dynasty! Do you deal with everyone this way, O Sovereign Lord? What more can I say?
You know what I am like, Sovereign Lord. For the sake of your will, you have done these great things and have shown them to me.
How great you are Sovereign Lord! There is no one like you - there is no other God. We have never even heard of another god like you! What other nation on earth is like Israel? What other nation , O God, have you redeemed from slavery to be your people? You made a great name for yourself when you rescued your people from Egypt. You performed awesome miracles and drove out the nations and gods that stood in their way. You made Israel your people forever, and you, O Lord, became their God.
An now, O Lord God, do as you have promised concerning me and my family. Confirm it as a promise that will last forever. And may your name be honoured forever so that all the world will say, 'The Lord Almighty is God over Israel!' And may the dynasty of your servant be established in your presence.
O Lord Almighty, God of Israel, I have been bold enough to pray this prayer because you have revealed that you will build a house for me - an eternal dynasty! For you are God, O Sovereign Lord. Your words are truth, and you have promised these good things to me, your servant. An now, may it please you to bless me and my family so that our dynasty may continue forever before you. For when you grant a blessing to a servant, O Sovereign Lord, it is an eternal blessing!
2 Samuel 7 v18-29.
That is also my prayer.
You know what I am like, Sovereign Lord. For the sake of your will, you have done these great things and have shown them to me.
How great you are Sovereign Lord! There is no one like you - there is no other God. We have never even heard of another god like you! What other nation on earth is like Israel? What other nation , O God, have you redeemed from slavery to be your people? You made a great name for yourself when you rescued your people from Egypt. You performed awesome miracles and drove out the nations and gods that stood in their way. You made Israel your people forever, and you, O Lord, became their God.
An now, O Lord God, do as you have promised concerning me and my family. Confirm it as a promise that will last forever. And may your name be honoured forever so that all the world will say, 'The Lord Almighty is God over Israel!' And may the dynasty of your servant be established in your presence.
O Lord Almighty, God of Israel, I have been bold enough to pray this prayer because you have revealed that you will build a house for me - an eternal dynasty! For you are God, O Sovereign Lord. Your words are truth, and you have promised these good things to me, your servant. An now, may it please you to bless me and my family so that our dynasty may continue forever before you. For when you grant a blessing to a servant, O Sovereign Lord, it is an eternal blessing!
2 Samuel 7 v18-29.
That is also my prayer.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Love in the shadows
I will praise the Lord at all times.
I will constantly speak his praises.
I will boast only in the Lord:
Let all who are discouraged take heart.
Come, let us tell of the Lord's greatness:
let us exalt his name together.
I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me,
freeing me from all my fears.
Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy:
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
I cried out to the Lord in all my suffering,
and he heard me.
He set me free from all my fears.
For the angel of the Lord guards all who fear him,
and he rescues them.
Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Oh, the joys of those who trust in him!
I will constantly speak his praises.
I will boast only in the Lord:
Let all who are discouraged take heart.
Come, let us tell of the Lord's greatness:
let us exalt his name together.
I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me,
freeing me from all my fears.
Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy:
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
I cried out to the Lord in all my suffering,
and he heard me.
He set me free from all my fears.
For the angel of the Lord guards all who fear him,
and he rescues them.
Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Oh, the joys of those who trust in him!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Believe me when I say
I'm a hot head.
It's funny when you find yourself in a situation that you never thought you;d be in, but you;re in it and you have to find your way through it.
Basically I was on my way home last night on the bridge over the A3-and what a wonderful night it was too. A light but fresh breeze washed over my face and circulated round my propped up hood once every 15 or so seconds. If only the sound of waves was weaved into the equation every 7 seconds or so and the sand was stuck in my flip flops then I guess we'd have a summertime fairy tale.
But we all know that Guildford isn;t the land of sand and fairytales.
So. I'm crossing over the bridge and there are a group of youths (I use the term loosely...12-18ish yr olds. 3 girls 2 guys) and I get stopped and asked for a light, a spare cigarette - the usual stuff you ask a 20something male for at twenty past 11.
One of the chubby girls blazened with tacky gold jewellery comments on my lovely trucker cap which is courtesy of topman, the friary shopping centre. She likes it and wants it. But as you say to nippers who 'want' things from you...nope. Because it's mine and I said so. Respect that please.
I walk off intent on walking through my door, throwing (well not quite) my bass down and going to bed so I can get to work in the morning. But as I reach the end of the bridge, the chubby little gem that I mentioned comes after me with the 'thug' of the group who is still sporting his extinguished roll up ala block. And I guess you call it a proposition...says that this little darling wants something...she gets it so hand over yer hat.
Yer hat?
My hat?
Protest comes naturally...but my exit is blocked off by aforemention thug and cherub. So she reaches for my hat...takes it off my head i protest next thing I know there;s a fist in my face, I duck down and hide my face in my thankfully large, white GAP hoody.
There;s a blow to the back of my head from another fist and some scratches on my nose as one of them tries to bring me out of the hunch that's preventing successful blows to my face. They don;t know where to throw their hands at.
I move my way through them and into the pub, blood slowly moving down my face.
At this point I bet you want to run back and kick the little bastards right?
It;s no big deal. It's a natural reaction, we see injustice over a stupid, greasy hat and are unable to understand the rationale behind such a chain of events.
Those kids are our targets. They are the next gen church members? Am I right?
They are the ones - maybe not specifically...but the kids that wander our streets at night and prey on people walking alone are who are gonna be in church changing their schools and building the body of christ in their communities.
Now honestly. Am I being over ambitious?
Is Nicky Cruz ambitious? or Davey Wilkerson?
God is love. We are called to take love to the nations right?
God uses for good everything that is intended to harm. So my prayer is that my heart, attitude and manner is changed through my experience.
Whaddya reckon?
It's funny when you find yourself in a situation that you never thought you;d be in, but you;re in it and you have to find your way through it.
Basically I was on my way home last night on the bridge over the A3-and what a wonderful night it was too. A light but fresh breeze washed over my face and circulated round my propped up hood once every 15 or so seconds. If only the sound of waves was weaved into the equation every 7 seconds or so and the sand was stuck in my flip flops then I guess we'd have a summertime fairy tale.
But we all know that Guildford isn;t the land of sand and fairytales.
So. I'm crossing over the bridge and there are a group of youths (I use the term loosely...12-18ish yr olds. 3 girls 2 guys) and I get stopped and asked for a light, a spare cigarette - the usual stuff you ask a 20something male for at twenty past 11.
One of the chubby girls blazened with tacky gold jewellery comments on my lovely trucker cap which is courtesy of topman, the friary shopping centre. She likes it and wants it. But as you say to nippers who 'want' things from you...nope. Because it's mine and I said so. Respect that please.
I walk off intent on walking through my door, throwing (well not quite) my bass down and going to bed so I can get to work in the morning. But as I reach the end of the bridge, the chubby little gem that I mentioned comes after me with the 'thug' of the group who is still sporting his extinguished roll up ala block. And I guess you call it a proposition...says that this little darling wants something...she gets it so hand over yer hat.
Yer hat?
My hat?
Protest comes naturally...but my exit is blocked off by aforemention thug and cherub. So she reaches for my hat...takes it off my head i protest next thing I know there;s a fist in my face, I duck down and hide my face in my thankfully large, white GAP hoody.
There;s a blow to the back of my head from another fist and some scratches on my nose as one of them tries to bring me out of the hunch that's preventing successful blows to my face. They don;t know where to throw their hands at.
I move my way through them and into the pub, blood slowly moving down my face.
At this point I bet you want to run back and kick the little bastards right?
It;s no big deal. It's a natural reaction, we see injustice over a stupid, greasy hat and are unable to understand the rationale behind such a chain of events.
Those kids are our targets. They are the next gen church members? Am I right?
They are the ones - maybe not specifically...but the kids that wander our streets at night and prey on people walking alone are who are gonna be in church changing their schools and building the body of christ in their communities.
Now honestly. Am I being over ambitious?
Is Nicky Cruz ambitious? or Davey Wilkerson?
God is love. We are called to take love to the nations right?
God uses for good everything that is intended to harm. So my prayer is that my heart, attitude and manner is changed through my experience.
Whaddya reckon?
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Another just a thought.
You know...I was just thinkin...some people can choose what they get.
Others can only get what they;re given.
Question: If you go after what you want enough do you get it? Or does going after something push it further out of your grasp?
This is 22.
Others can only get what they;re given.
Question: If you go after what you want enough do you get it? Or does going after something push it further out of your grasp?
This is 22.
Just a thought
So as some of you know, I live in a christian bookshop.
so I guess I see a lot of things about christian culture that disturb me a little. But I;m not gonna crack on about that...
I guess I never understood alot of christian culture as a teenager because on the IoW, no-one is into it.
One of the things I;ve been discovering lately has been through the teaching of the conference I went to in Australia when I was out there - When Heaven Invades Earth. And it was this - God wants to hear the desires of our hearts. As christians we stand around waiting to hear from God giving us the next direction, but what God actually wants is to hear the desires of our hearts!
I was praying about this and it caught my attention that if not dealt with carefully, this concept could be quite a dangerous one because we can put all sorts of things down as desires of our hearts, pray them out and then possibly do some damage to ourselves by praying the wrong things...
Largely though, I agree!! God wants to hear what we as a generation want to see him do! There are so many things that we want to do that have to some degree already been carried out, so we need God;s wisdom and creativity to define what it is that we are about...you get me?
The desires of my heart?...you'll have to get to know me better before you squeeze that one out of me...
On another note...I really miss Australia!
Why? Because it's different? Because I had an awesome time there? Who knows...but I miss the lil city my sis is livin' in.I miss the town and the big plaza shopping mall place.I miss Kingswood station. I miss Penrith Library. I miss cheap Pizza's. I miss the salad bar and the girl who smiles at you when you walk past. I miss the intesity of the sun.I miss hearing the sea.
I guess I need to get some photos up here so the few that read this can see what I saw. So many things that words cannot describe.
Will get pics up when I can...
Dan
so I guess I see a lot of things about christian culture that disturb me a little. But I;m not gonna crack on about that...
I guess I never understood alot of christian culture as a teenager because on the IoW, no-one is into it.
One of the things I;ve been discovering lately has been through the teaching of the conference I went to in Australia when I was out there - When Heaven Invades Earth. And it was this - God wants to hear the desires of our hearts. As christians we stand around waiting to hear from God giving us the next direction, but what God actually wants is to hear the desires of our hearts!
I was praying about this and it caught my attention that if not dealt with carefully, this concept could be quite a dangerous one because we can put all sorts of things down as desires of our hearts, pray them out and then possibly do some damage to ourselves by praying the wrong things...
Largely though, I agree!! God wants to hear what we as a generation want to see him do! There are so many things that we want to do that have to some degree already been carried out, so we need God;s wisdom and creativity to define what it is that we are about...you get me?
The desires of my heart?...you'll have to get to know me better before you squeeze that one out of me...
On another note...I really miss Australia!
Why? Because it's different? Because I had an awesome time there? Who knows...but I miss the lil city my sis is livin' in.I miss the town and the big plaza shopping mall place.I miss Kingswood station. I miss Penrith Library. I miss cheap Pizza's. I miss the salad bar and the girl who smiles at you when you walk past. I miss the intesity of the sun.I miss hearing the sea.
I guess I need to get some photos up here so the few that read this can see what I saw. So many things that words cannot describe.
Will get pics up when I can...
Dan
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Welcome back
That's right.
After three weeks of sun, sand and God, I'm back.
And I've seen wonders, marvels, miracles...I've seen legs GROW. I've seen 150 people get healed of various ailments large or small over a 36 hour conference prd. I've seen grown men cry out in desperation to God, and women dance elegantly and worshipfully to the Father who smiles upon his daughter.
And through the time I've spent snorkeling, worshipping God, soaking in his presence you know what I got?
Check this:
God is worth getting excited about.
Everything that is God is worth getting wound up for.
Justice,
healing,
power,
life.
Let us stand. Let us get excited and take God from the inside pocket of our damp rain coat and present him upon our faces, our attitudes, our hearts...our sleeves (as emo as it sounds).
I want in on the revolution that God is stirring up through this world. I do not want God to bypass me because I was not open to a radical way of life.
If not radical then what is the point?
After three weeks of sun, sand and God, I'm back.
And I've seen wonders, marvels, miracles...I've seen legs GROW. I've seen 150 people get healed of various ailments large or small over a 36 hour conference prd. I've seen grown men cry out in desperation to God, and women dance elegantly and worshipfully to the Father who smiles upon his daughter.
And through the time I've spent snorkeling, worshipping God, soaking in his presence you know what I got?
Check this:
God is worth getting excited about.
Everything that is God is worth getting wound up for.
Justice,
healing,
power,
life.
Let us stand. Let us get excited and take God from the inside pocket of our damp rain coat and present him upon our faces, our attitudes, our hearts...our sleeves (as emo as it sounds).
I want in on the revolution that God is stirring up through this world. I do not want God to bypass me because I was not open to a radical way of life.
If not radical then what is the point?
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Dark side of the World
Here I am on the dark side of the world.
It's the side of the world that you don't see,
And we don;t hear much about...besides 1:40 and 5:35 on BBC1.
This is the side of the world where it's hot when we're cold and cold when we're hot.
I am VISITING Australia.
Currently habiting a seat in the local library of a 'city' quite similar to Guildford - Penrith.
It's just like living in Guildford and going into London...except you have toll booths on the way and you;re going into Sydney.
The towns a nice place - quite suburban America. There are very few 'big brand' places. That's how it's done out here. Quite personal, individually run businesses.
So it's Monday afternoon...I arrived at Sydney Airport Saturday night, after a rather eventful flight.
Upon arriving at Heathrow to check in, the desk clerk said 'do you have an visa for your trip?'
Arse.
I look around frantically. I'm scanning through my phone to see who I can phone...then I fork out 25 quid (THERE'S NO POUND SIGN ON THIS KEYBOARD!!) for my visa. All good. Bit annoyed that the people who I ordered my flight through didn't tell me anything bout it but then again I should;ve checked up. Rookie Mistake.
I got on the first flight I've ever been on, watched some movies several times, and gazed out of my window for hours on end.
I was incredably blessed to see the sun rise minutes before we landed in Singapore which was nothing short of amazing.
Quick stop and shower, then back on the plane with a refreshed sense of excitement that I was only 7 hours away from Australia. As we flew into Sydney, the sun set. The most colourful, vibrant setting of the sun I've seen.
Then through customs and immigration. I half panic as I get asked to open my suitcase for a couple of packs of percy pigs. Again quaking in my flip flops at the idea of having to pay a goodness knows how many dollars fine before I;ve even started.
Then home. Home is nice. It's air conditioned. It's noisy at night. Ignorant crickets and unnaturally loud miscillaneous insects keep you up at night next to the whirring of the fan that keeps you from passing out - even at night.
Sunday was lay in morning. Get up at 11 then out for a walk round a lake where I fed some ducks with my sis and spotted some procarious lizards that freaked me out in the long grass. The lake is in an area where there are brown snakes. They're dangerous.
I went to Hillsong last night which was cool. Great to be in church, but I was tired wearing heavy eyes and low shoulders.
I awoke at 5am this morning. The body clock still hasn;t adjusted and went for a 5k run round the olympic rowing and canoing park. Steve Redgrave won 5 gold medals there in 2000. A blast from the past.
And now I'm here in the library.
The next few days are just sleep recovery then I have a prayer appt. with a project thing called Isaiah 61 which is going to be the start of the spiritual journey of the 3 weeks.
I've got Lady Elliot Island and Hervy Bay towards the end of my time here which I feel will seal up the whole time here.
Thanks for prayers for safe journey. Was all good...
Will keep posted and updated.
Lots-a-love,
Dan
It's the side of the world that you don't see,
And we don;t hear much about...besides 1:40 and 5:35 on BBC1.
This is the side of the world where it's hot when we're cold and cold when we're hot.
I am VISITING Australia.
Currently habiting a seat in the local library of a 'city' quite similar to Guildford - Penrith.
It's just like living in Guildford and going into London...except you have toll booths on the way and you;re going into Sydney.
The towns a nice place - quite suburban America. There are very few 'big brand' places. That's how it's done out here. Quite personal, individually run businesses.
So it's Monday afternoon...I arrived at Sydney Airport Saturday night, after a rather eventful flight.
Upon arriving at Heathrow to check in, the desk clerk said 'do you have an visa for your trip?'
Arse.
I look around frantically. I'm scanning through my phone to see who I can phone...then I fork out 25 quid (THERE'S NO POUND SIGN ON THIS KEYBOARD!!) for my visa. All good. Bit annoyed that the people who I ordered my flight through didn't tell me anything bout it but then again I should;ve checked up. Rookie Mistake.
I got on the first flight I've ever been on, watched some movies several times, and gazed out of my window for hours on end.
I was incredably blessed to see the sun rise minutes before we landed in Singapore which was nothing short of amazing.
Quick stop and shower, then back on the plane with a refreshed sense of excitement that I was only 7 hours away from Australia. As we flew into Sydney, the sun set. The most colourful, vibrant setting of the sun I've seen.
Then through customs and immigration. I half panic as I get asked to open my suitcase for a couple of packs of percy pigs. Again quaking in my flip flops at the idea of having to pay a goodness knows how many dollars fine before I;ve even started.
Then home. Home is nice. It's air conditioned. It's noisy at night. Ignorant crickets and unnaturally loud miscillaneous insects keep you up at night next to the whirring of the fan that keeps you from passing out - even at night.
Sunday was lay in morning. Get up at 11 then out for a walk round a lake where I fed some ducks with my sis and spotted some procarious lizards that freaked me out in the long grass. The lake is in an area where there are brown snakes. They're dangerous.
I went to Hillsong last night which was cool. Great to be in church, but I was tired wearing heavy eyes and low shoulders.
I awoke at 5am this morning. The body clock still hasn;t adjusted and went for a 5k run round the olympic rowing and canoing park. Steve Redgrave won 5 gold medals there in 2000. A blast from the past.
And now I'm here in the library.
The next few days are just sleep recovery then I have a prayer appt. with a project thing called Isaiah 61 which is going to be the start of the spiritual journey of the 3 weeks.
I've got Lady Elliot Island and Hervy Bay towards the end of my time here which I feel will seal up the whole time here.
Thanks for prayers for safe journey. Was all good...
Will keep posted and updated.
Lots-a-love,
Dan
Sunday, February 25, 2007
For You
I would wait until the end of time.
Just to catch a glimpse of your hand.
I'm sure that song has been written a thousand times. What has made each different from the other? The spelling?! Ha!
I have a history of making brash statements. Tarnishing many with a brush only deserved by few.
I led the worship at church today...and at 730pm I am tired. My eyes want to close and my head wants to rest upon my greasy pillow.
I'm 5 days away from being miles high in the sky and watching the water go the opposite direction down the sink, and sitting on that desert island I've so eagerly been anticipating. So with an empty suitcase and a rogue ladybug (pictures to follow)...and an empty house, I decided to update my blog somewhat.
Last few days n weeks?...been workin...and that seems to have been just about all of it...the odd gospel choir gig and night out inbetween...but that's about it!
As i mentioned, I led the worship at church today - which is always amazing.
The last thing I will say.
Go to Rachels blog and check out the video she put up - not the one about Jesus.
It's just like a snapshot of when you think about 'the ex'. You know what I mean.
Everyone has one that meant something more than any other. That hurt more than any other. That took more than any other.
God is good.
And I'm going to Australia.
Phat.
Love to all...will try n update somehow from down under!!
xxx
Just to catch a glimpse of your hand.
I'm sure that song has been written a thousand times. What has made each different from the other? The spelling?! Ha!
I have a history of making brash statements. Tarnishing many with a brush only deserved by few.
I led the worship at church today...and at 730pm I am tired. My eyes want to close and my head wants to rest upon my greasy pillow.
I'm 5 days away from being miles high in the sky and watching the water go the opposite direction down the sink, and sitting on that desert island I've so eagerly been anticipating. So with an empty suitcase and a rogue ladybug (pictures to follow)...and an empty house, I decided to update my blog somewhat.
Last few days n weeks?...been workin...and that seems to have been just about all of it...the odd gospel choir gig and night out inbetween...but that's about it!
As i mentioned, I led the worship at church today - which is always amazing.
The last thing I will say.
Go to Rachels blog and check out the video she put up - not the one about Jesus.
It's just like a snapshot of when you think about 'the ex'. You know what I mean.
Everyone has one that meant something more than any other. That hurt more than any other. That took more than any other.
God is good.
And I'm going to Australia.
Phat.
Love to all...will try n update somehow from down under!!
xxx
Monday, February 05, 2007
A cigar, box of matches, and the most surreal encounter you could ever believe.
I awoke this morning knowing what today was.
Today was the funeral of my Great Uncle Samuel John Potts.
Any funeral is a sombre occasion and I always manage to find the bright side with my Dad. We're a couple of jokers.
We roll up to the Lake Open Brethren hall with a plethura of cakes, sandwiches and usual lunchtime snacks.
The mourners begin to pack in at 1230 a small but steadily growing feeling makes itself known to me that with my I'm slowly falling back in time.
As I'm waiting outside with my Dad welcoming in faces my Dad knows, that know me but I have no apparent memory of, I'm asked if I want to be a pallbearer.
Suddenly this is real.
Before I get the chance to gather my thought and assess the situation I'm holding a coffin on my shoulder with my father infront of me shuffling at a speed that is hardly break-neck.
Then I'm in the counter-culture that I haven't known, but is so familiar to the rest of my family.
Open Brethren. An hour of hymns, 'words', and me standing up and reading a 4 page memorial piece that my father composed.
Spoken not musical.
But my point in all this being...I experience a christianity that most probably couldnt be any further removed from what I saw today. It felt as though I had taken a trip to the 1930's.
As I sat in the room I was just thinking...how can this particular form of christianity possibly reverberate with todays culture?. How can the approaches of a dated hymnbook and translation of the bible possibly grab the attention of those who really need it?
When you have nothing in the bank, your wife has just left with the kids, you don;t give a sh*t about who 'thined thoust on ther sabbatheth day..eth'.
Haha.
But such is life. People relate to what they are comfortable with.
If that is their comfort so be it.
My job is not to get everyone into my church and make them believe the way I believe, but to show them the works that God has done in my life since the acceptance and living out of the redemption granted by Jesus' death on the cross.
Frustrating...but c'est la vie
Today was the funeral of my Great Uncle Samuel John Potts.
Any funeral is a sombre occasion and I always manage to find the bright side with my Dad. We're a couple of jokers.
We roll up to the Lake Open Brethren hall with a plethura of cakes, sandwiches and usual lunchtime snacks.
The mourners begin to pack in at 1230 a small but steadily growing feeling makes itself known to me that with my I'm slowly falling back in time.
As I'm waiting outside with my Dad welcoming in faces my Dad knows, that know me but I have no apparent memory of, I'm asked if I want to be a pallbearer.
Suddenly this is real.
Before I get the chance to gather my thought and assess the situation I'm holding a coffin on my shoulder with my father infront of me shuffling at a speed that is hardly break-neck.
Then I'm in the counter-culture that I haven't known, but is so familiar to the rest of my family.
Open Brethren. An hour of hymns, 'words', and me standing up and reading a 4 page memorial piece that my father composed.
Spoken not musical.
But my point in all this being...I experience a christianity that most probably couldnt be any further removed from what I saw today. It felt as though I had taken a trip to the 1930's.
As I sat in the room I was just thinking...how can this particular form of christianity possibly reverberate with todays culture?. How can the approaches of a dated hymnbook and translation of the bible possibly grab the attention of those who really need it?
When you have nothing in the bank, your wife has just left with the kids, you don;t give a sh*t about who 'thined thoust on ther sabbatheth day..eth'.
Haha.
But such is life. People relate to what they are comfortable with.
If that is their comfort so be it.
My job is not to get everyone into my church and make them believe the way I believe, but to show them the works that God has done in my life since the acceptance and living out of the redemption granted by Jesus' death on the cross.
Frustrating...but c'est la vie
Monday, January 29, 2007
So this weekend was eventful.
It all kicked off a bit later than usual...8-9pm on Saturday night after a 90 or so minute train journey to bournemouth all one my own to meet some of my high school friends.
Got to the travelodge and had a few beers...went into town had a few beers...had a dance to some d&b and got a taste of FUN.
I turned 17 again and went to a house party where there was booze, coke, sex and pills.
Then 2 meatwagons and 8 police cares turned up to turf 150 drunken, image concious, gotta have a good time before I die students onto the streets.
A good night to be had for all I must say.
So.
I must admit I've been a bit concerned about my spiritual welfare the last couple of weeks. I've spent alot of time on my own labelling tubes and being in a foul mood about it.
I was in a place where I had a negative spin on everything...then I bought a copy of Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer...seriously...that book is groundbreaking. In the couple of days that I;ve had it, I've gone through the first few chapters and it's like a switch has flipped and the circuit is flowing the other way.
It is so easy to dwell on the negative and condemning thoughts of the world. But the choice has to be made to dwell not on matters of flesh, but on matters of the Holy Spirit.
So this morning I choose to pray through the day...even when labelling the tubes on my own.
If you struggle with matters of the mind...read that book.
[disclaimer - I am making generalised statements in the following section so please read with a pinch of salt.]
www.myspace.com/broomstiky
www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms
There are causes that the British church is disconnected from...and needs to be dealing with rather than just hoping that they won;t happen anymore.
On the Stiky myspace page, have a look at the video for Constance. That will blow your mind.
Midsets and the dirty things of the world are ignored. Let us stand up and tackle them in a way that is credible.
The thing that I love about what these various Christian movements from the States is that they are unashamedly tackling the disgraceful in a way that I am sure Jesus would (...I mean...who am I to say how Jesus would deal with our world...but there are examples in xxxchurch, towriteloveonherarms and invisible children...all worthy causes). It;s approaching these situations on the terms of the porn addicts, the girls who are sold for sex...
For years commercial christianity has had a dare I say it high and mighty nose stuck up arrogance that ignored the prostitutes. After all aren;t there just some things that you don;t deal with? NO. Jesus did not come to the Earth, die, conquer death, sin and carry all my shame and sin and shit on the cross on his terms did he? He came to the world on the worlds terms. In the form of a baby without sin as the perfect example for humanity.
So let us go to the gutter on the gutters terms with jesus on our sleeves meeting the needs of the gutter. Whatever that may be. Talk to the guy who never speaks in class and be his friend. Make the effort to engage with the work collegues who seem to be struggling with the wtasks at hand...I can;t explain how important it is that this generation bucks the trend of sticking a proverbial Christian nose up at need. Let us open the doors of our churches and build the city of refuge.
God does not say to us 'when you get your act together, we can talk'.
Now...how do I go about capturing this in song and picture?...I want to tak some photos of some street running...like the insane stuff jumping from building to building...there is a vision forming in my head and I;m excited...photography is a way of carrying those visions out...I want to try and capture freedom on canvas and write the exact words that the picture tells.
Let me know what you think...
and if you want in on this crazy journey.
It all kicked off a bit later than usual...8-9pm on Saturday night after a 90 or so minute train journey to bournemouth all one my own to meet some of my high school friends.
Got to the travelodge and had a few beers...went into town had a few beers...had a dance to some d&b and got a taste of FUN.
I turned 17 again and went to a house party where there was booze, coke, sex and pills.
Then 2 meatwagons and 8 police cares turned up to turf 150 drunken, image concious, gotta have a good time before I die students onto the streets.
A good night to be had for all I must say.
So.
I must admit I've been a bit concerned about my spiritual welfare the last couple of weeks. I've spent alot of time on my own labelling tubes and being in a foul mood about it.
I was in a place where I had a negative spin on everything...then I bought a copy of Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer...seriously...that book is groundbreaking. In the couple of days that I;ve had it, I've gone through the first few chapters and it's like a switch has flipped and the circuit is flowing the other way.
It is so easy to dwell on the negative and condemning thoughts of the world. But the choice has to be made to dwell not on matters of flesh, but on matters of the Holy Spirit.
So this morning I choose to pray through the day...even when labelling the tubes on my own.
If you struggle with matters of the mind...read that book.
[disclaimer - I am making generalised statements in the following section so please read with a pinch of salt.]
www.myspace.com/broomstiky
www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms
There are causes that the British church is disconnected from...and needs to be dealing with rather than just hoping that they won;t happen anymore.
On the Stiky myspace page, have a look at the video for Constance. That will blow your mind.
Midsets and the dirty things of the world are ignored. Let us stand up and tackle them in a way that is credible.
The thing that I love about what these various Christian movements from the States is that they are unashamedly tackling the disgraceful in a way that I am sure Jesus would (...I mean...who am I to say how Jesus would deal with our world...but there are examples in xxxchurch, towriteloveonherarms and invisible children...all worthy causes). It;s approaching these situations on the terms of the porn addicts, the girls who are sold for sex...
For years commercial christianity has had a dare I say it high and mighty nose stuck up arrogance that ignored the prostitutes. After all aren;t there just some things that you don;t deal with? NO. Jesus did not come to the Earth, die, conquer death, sin and carry all my shame and sin and shit on the cross on his terms did he? He came to the world on the worlds terms. In the form of a baby without sin as the perfect example for humanity.
So let us go to the gutter on the gutters terms with jesus on our sleeves meeting the needs of the gutter. Whatever that may be. Talk to the guy who never speaks in class and be his friend. Make the effort to engage with the work collegues who seem to be struggling with the wtasks at hand...I can;t explain how important it is that this generation bucks the trend of sticking a proverbial Christian nose up at need. Let us open the doors of our churches and build the city of refuge.
God does not say to us 'when you get your act together, we can talk'.
Now...how do I go about capturing this in song and picture?...I want to tak some photos of some street running...like the insane stuff jumping from building to building...there is a vision forming in my head and I;m excited...photography is a way of carrying those visions out...I want to try and capture freedom on canvas and write the exact words that the picture tells.
Let me know what you think...
and if you want in on this crazy journey.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
So today I awoke with an abrupt start, stuck my head out of the window...and saw white. I am still such a little school kid.
If you live in the London/Surrey area you too would have awoken to 2 inches of snow lying on the ground. What a beautiful sight. But so quickly gone. It's 3 or so pm...the grass is green and the snow is dirty...you could even stretch to calling it filthy.
When you hear about things being washed as white as snow...its another cliche to add to the stupidly big pile. But when you see a field covered thick with brilliant, clean as clean can be snow...well I like to think that I got a bit more of a handle on the whole idea today even if I can;t portray it very well.
I bought some more dollar$ today for my lovely holiday coming up...I have like...$430...which is about £180...which sucks...But I'm really lookin forward to my first flight...and getting some chill God time.
The 3 weeks there are gonna be seeking God time. I'm expectant that God is gonna deliver...ya know? I want to be expectant of God...and so I shall.
Yup.
x
If you live in the London/Surrey area you too would have awoken to 2 inches of snow lying on the ground. What a beautiful sight. But so quickly gone. It's 3 or so pm...the grass is green and the snow is dirty...you could even stretch to calling it filthy.
When you hear about things being washed as white as snow...its another cliche to add to the stupidly big pile. But when you see a field covered thick with brilliant, clean as clean can be snow...well I like to think that I got a bit more of a handle on the whole idea today even if I can;t portray it very well.
I bought some more dollar$ today for my lovely holiday coming up...I have like...$430...which is about £180...which sucks...But I'm really lookin forward to my first flight...and getting some chill God time.
The 3 weeks there are gonna be seeking God time. I'm expectant that God is gonna deliver...ya know? I want to be expectant of God...and so I shall.
Yup.
x
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Today is the day
God has done so many things.
So many that I can;t count...God has done so much.
Can you not see?
Can you not see God in your life? How he has moved and changed and moved?
My heart is a burning ember...but it needs to be a great big bonfire.
Stoke the fire...build the fire.
Each day I think about whether I would be the same person today if I hadn't made the mistakes that I made...but you know what?
God glorifies us through grace. When we accept jesus into our lives, it is like placing a blood lense over ourselves so that when God looks at us, he see us clean. White as snow.
There's something so poetic about grace and the way by which we are redeemed.
Oh my God, how sweet is the sound. I once was blind.
But now?...y'all know the rest.
So many that I can;t count...God has done so much.
Can you not see?
Can you not see God in your life? How he has moved and changed and moved?
My heart is a burning ember...but it needs to be a great big bonfire.
Stoke the fire...build the fire.
Each day I think about whether I would be the same person today if I hadn't made the mistakes that I made...but you know what?
God glorifies us through grace. When we accept jesus into our lives, it is like placing a blood lense over ourselves so that when God looks at us, he see us clean. White as snow.
There's something so poetic about grace and the way by which we are redeemed.
Oh my God, how sweet is the sound. I once was blind.
But now?...y'all know the rest.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
The sounds of a walk home
after of a day sitting on a stupidly low chair leaning over onto an even more stupidly low table.
- 'I'm sorry sir, you can;t walk down this road, it's closed.'
'Oh ok.......Is everything ok?'
'Yeah a buildings collapsed...'
'is that due to the weather?'
'I assume so yes...'
'Oh ok...well thanks.'
- The blatant tension of warming hands collectively gripping the steering wheel in rush hour traffic.
- The laughter in conversation as kids take a detour through town to plan what to spend their pocket money on this weekend.
- The scraping brakes of a train just hundreds of metres away that carries the businessmen home.
- The somewhat stifled excitement somewhere within my mind as I take note of a model railway exhibition advertised for January 30th...I'm half way to calling my Dad up for a day out.
- The chuckles of car drivers as the look at me walking in gale force winds.
- The satisfaction that I'll be home in 15 minutes when the people in cars will only be 317 metres down the road.
- If I were to to look at myself I would see a smile creep to the corners of my unusually weathered and worn facial expression as I survey the looming black cloud that promises so much. So much power and energy.
- Then, just for a moment, the smile breaks as I turn a corner to face the incoming cloud...I make a promise to myself as I do each time I see an iminent storm - 'this one I have to see'.
- The strangely natural and inviting smile of a policewoman whom I pass as she zips her underneath fleece jacket.
- Then the first drops begin to fall. Sparsely at first, but then more forcefully. One or two finding the right flight path into the hole on the side of my head that is my left ear...
See. Walking is so much more fun when you don;t have music blasting your head off.
- 'I'm sorry sir, you can;t walk down this road, it's closed.'
'Oh ok.......Is everything ok?'
'Yeah a buildings collapsed...'
'is that due to the weather?'
'I assume so yes...'
'Oh ok...well thanks.'
- The blatant tension of warming hands collectively gripping the steering wheel in rush hour traffic.
- The laughter in conversation as kids take a detour through town to plan what to spend their pocket money on this weekend.
- The scraping brakes of a train just hundreds of metres away that carries the businessmen home.
- The somewhat stifled excitement somewhere within my mind as I take note of a model railway exhibition advertised for January 30th...I'm half way to calling my Dad up for a day out.
- The chuckles of car drivers as the look at me walking in gale force winds.
- The satisfaction that I'll be home in 15 minutes when the people in cars will only be 317 metres down the road.
- If I were to to look at myself I would see a smile creep to the corners of my unusually weathered and worn facial expression as I survey the looming black cloud that promises so much. So much power and energy.
- Then, just for a moment, the smile breaks as I turn a corner to face the incoming cloud...I make a promise to myself as I do each time I see an iminent storm - 'this one I have to see'.
- The strangely natural and inviting smile of a policewoman whom I pass as she zips her underneath fleece jacket.
- Then the first drops begin to fall. Sparsely at first, but then more forcefully. One or two finding the right flight path into the hole on the side of my head that is my left ear...
See. Walking is so much more fun when you don;t have music blasting your head off.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Roast Beef
On my Thursday 4th January 06 I mean 07 (how many times have you done that so far this year?...) walk home from work, I began questioning and arrived at another place of dissatisfaction.
Did anyone else see the clear blue sky this morning? Absolutely beautiful with a nice crisp breeze that really wakes you up.
That was at about twenty past 8...at twenty past 3 this afternoon, the sky had turned grey.
What is it about the colour grey that is just so...digustingly dampening?
Here's where I link my musings with the twentysomethings christian existence...Why are Christians so in love with a GREY existence?
I've been listening to some podcasts by a guy in seattle US called Pastor Mark Driscoll. One of the questions I've heard that has been asked to him is 'How to I know if I;m really a Christian?'.
His answer is: 'If you truly love Christ, then you are a Christian. No doubt'.(ok...so that's paraphrased a bit). I lived a grey life. I would go to church and my faith was never black nor white. I was neither fully submitted to Christ and my heart never fully loved Christ.
Now?...I'm learning. I'm moving, I;m growing and progressing.
Where are you?
Did anyone else see the clear blue sky this morning? Absolutely beautiful with a nice crisp breeze that really wakes you up.
That was at about twenty past 8...at twenty past 3 this afternoon, the sky had turned grey.
What is it about the colour grey that is just so...digustingly dampening?
Here's where I link my musings with the twentysomethings christian existence...Why are Christians so in love with a GREY existence?
I've been listening to some podcasts by a guy in seattle US called Pastor Mark Driscoll. One of the questions I've heard that has been asked to him is 'How to I know if I;m really a Christian?'.
His answer is: 'If you truly love Christ, then you are a Christian. No doubt'.(ok...so that's paraphrased a bit). I lived a grey life. I would go to church and my faith was never black nor white. I was neither fully submitted to Christ and my heart never fully loved Christ.
Now?...I'm learning. I'm moving, I;m growing and progressing.
Where are you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)