The Great Romance

There are a lot of things going on right now that in all honesty I just don't understand. I understand principles, but not circumstances.
I'm over-using the phrases 'I guess' and 'does that make sense?' because life is a lot of guess work and not much makes sense.
In all honesty.

It's late on Wednesday night and I'm visiting the days of being a 17 year old boy whose weeks were music and cigarrettes and weekends were breakfast shifts at McDonalds. Everyone know music is powerful and in a moment can send a 22 yr old back to being 19 on the phone smoking sneakily out the bedroom window.

I'm trying to make head and tail of some...seemingly pressing things and it doesn't help that my thought process is near broke.

Take every thought captive right?


As the great saying goes, God moves in mysterious ways.
Well my mind works in ways of mystery that quite frankly I at times, don't appreciate. I tend to overlook the day to day things and just stare straight into the far and distant future. Which in itself isn't all that bad..I mean..a man without foresight is blind?..I made that up actually..

I guess, as identified by my personal psychologist, I don't have a problem with the Big Picture God. I believe that ultimately he is in control and is the sovereign Lord of my life.
But in the day to day? I have a problem. Though I have seen Gods amazing hand of provision
countless times in just the last year is astounding..yet I still have trouble hoping for the day to day things.
Hope is dangerous isn't it? You hope..you can get hurt..or your hope can be justified. But why is it that there is so little faith in the justification of hope in comparison to the amount of doubt?
That's not human nature..that's just plain pessimism.

Does that make sense?

God, why is this seemingly straight and narrow road, so bent?

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