So...today i bought a trucker cap...I look so country bumpkin with it...am i surprised?
Here's some stuff from todays journal entry:
'What am i believing God is going to do in my life? What do i believe about god? God is love?
I was chatting to my manager at work yesterday after popping into Thomas Cook and enquiring about some flights to Australia - £700. In all honesty, i don't see any way that i can physcally pull that amount of money together. Andif i say that i'm believing that god will pull through then i'd be lying. i dont believe in miracles. i dont believe in me. i dont believe in my life. but if i dont believe in any of that then what is there to have faith in? if i dont trust my heavenly father to pull through on a job, woman, £700 to go to australia then what is the point of existense?
We exist to believe! i exist to believe. is there life in blood? is there life in me? if faith is the basis od existense then without faith are we the walking dead?'
...god if you're reading this...talk to me and help me through this dark tunnel.
I love god. I love christ.
But i don't know how to trust. i lost the ability to trust.
I want it back.
1 comment:
that's a really powerful post you got there. you're speaking what was the contents of my mind about a year back. but, i discovered something: don't trust god to only let good things happen. he will let you down, or at least, it will appear that way. trust that everything happens for a reason. if you don't get that job/woman/flight to australia, perhaps there's a hidden reason why you're not supposed to have to those things just yet. trust that god will pull you through these things.
i'm not well rehearsed in dishing out advice. if that doesn't make any sense, tell me and i'll have another go.
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