I'll be honest with you. Because I think honesty is important.

I am scared. 

Now let me be clear. 

I am not after fame or recognition. That I have always maintained. That when it comes to worship music be it leading or playing in a worship band, I do not seek the worship of man but to I am seeking to bring glory to you. 

I am scared that I will never find the place in which I can get the songs that have so often been prophesied to be within me, out. 

I enjoy writing music. But I'm sure as I have often said to you or written to you, I have no idea what to say. It at first seems like such a simple thing. 

The problem I have is knowing that I have the ability and character to do that which I have been asked. But as I've wrestled with before, I know that you don't have to be ready to start something. You don't have to be perfect before you can be used in amazing ways. 

I just ask that in the coming weeks and days and months that I can find a home. A place where I find healing and a new understanding of you.

Something that has come into my heart recently is this: I do not mind if I never get to satisfy the human desires of performance as long as I can understand how to love and worship you God.