So this weekend was eventful.
It all kicked off a bit later than usual...8-9pm on Saturday night after a 90 or so minute train journey to bournemouth all one my own to meet some of my high school friends.
Got to the travelodge and had a few beers...went into town had a few beers...had a dance to some d&b and got a taste of FUN.
I turned 17 again and went to a house party where there was booze, coke, sex and pills.
Then 2 meatwagons and 8 police cares turned up to turf 150 drunken, image concious, gotta have a good time before I die students onto the streets.
A good night to be had for all I must say.

So.

I must admit I've been a bit concerned about my spiritual welfare the last couple of weeks. I've spent alot of time on my own labelling tubes and being in a foul mood about it.
I was in a place where I had a negative spin on everything...then I bought a copy of Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer...seriously...that book is groundbreaking. In the couple of days that I;ve had it, I've gone through the first few chapters and it's like a switch has flipped and the circuit is flowing the other way.
It is so easy to dwell on the negative and condemning thoughts of the world. But the choice has to be made to dwell not on matters of flesh, but on matters of the Holy Spirit.
So this morning I choose to pray through the day...even when labelling the tubes on my own.
If you struggle with matters of the mind...read that book.

[disclaimer - I am making generalised statements in the following section so please read with a pinch of salt.]

www.myspace.com/broomstiky

www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms

There are causes that the British church is disconnected from...and needs to be dealing with rather than just hoping that they won;t happen anymore.
On the Stiky myspace page, have a look at the video for Constance. That will blow your mind.
Midsets and the dirty things of the world are ignored. Let us stand up and tackle them in a way that is credible.
The thing that I love about what these various Christian movements from the States is that they are unashamedly tackling the disgraceful in a way that I am sure Jesus would (...I mean...who am I to say how Jesus would deal with our world...but there are examples in xxxchurch, towriteloveonherarms and invisible children...all worthy causes). It;s approaching these situations on the terms of the porn addicts, the girls who are sold for sex...

For years commercial christianity has had a dare I say it high and mighty nose stuck up arrogance that ignored the prostitutes. After all aren;t there just some things that you don;t deal with? NO. Jesus did not come to the Earth, die, conquer death, sin and carry all my shame and sin and shit on the cross on his terms did he? He came to the world on the worlds terms. In the form of a baby without sin as the perfect example for humanity.

So let us go to the gutter on the gutters terms with jesus on our sleeves meeting the needs of the gutter. Whatever that may be. Talk to the guy who never speaks in class and be his friend. Make the effort to engage with the work collegues who seem to be struggling with the wtasks at hand...I can;t explain how important it is that this generation bucks the trend of sticking a proverbial Christian nose up at need. Let us open the doors of our churches and build the city of refuge.

God does not say to us 'when you get your act together, we can talk'.

Now...how do I go about capturing this in song and picture?...I want to tak some photos of some street running...like the insane stuff jumping from building to building...there is a vision forming in my head and I;m excited...photography is a way of carrying those visions out...I want to try and capture freedom on canvas and write the exact words that the picture tells.

Let me know what you think...

and if you want in on this crazy journey.

So today I awoke with an abrupt start, stuck my head out of the window...and saw white. I am still such a little school kid.
If you live in the London/Surrey area you too would have awoken to 2 inches of snow lying on the ground. What a beautiful sight. But so quickly gone. It's 3 or so pm...the grass is green and the snow is dirty...you could even stretch to calling it filthy.

When you hear about things being washed as white as snow...its another cliche to add to the stupidly big pile. But when you see a field covered thick with brilliant, clean as clean can be snow...well I like to think that I got a bit more of a handle on the whole idea today even if I can;t portray it very well.

I bought some more dollar$ today for my lovely holiday coming up...I have like...$430...which is about £180...which sucks...But I'm really lookin forward to my first flight...and getting some chill God time.

The 3 weeks there are gonna be seeking God time. I'm expectant that God is gonna deliver...ya know? I want to be expectant of God...and so I shall.

Yup.

x

Today is the day

God has done so many things.
So many that I can;t count...God has done so much.
Can you not see?
Can you not see God in your life? How he has moved and changed and moved?

My heart is a burning ember...but it needs to be a great big bonfire.

Stoke the fire...build the fire.

Each day I think about whether I would be the same person today if I hadn't made the mistakes that I made...but you know what?

God glorifies us through grace. When we accept jesus into our lives, it is like placing a blood lense over ourselves so that when God looks at us, he see us clean. White as snow.
There's something so poetic about grace and the way by which we are redeemed.

Oh my God, how sweet is the sound. I once was blind.

But now?...y'all know the rest.

The sounds of a walk home

after of a day sitting on a stupidly low chair leaning over onto an even more stupidly low table.

- 'I'm sorry sir, you can;t walk down this road, it's closed.'

'Oh ok.......Is everything ok?'

'Yeah a buildings collapsed...'

'is that due to the weather?'

'I assume so yes...'

'Oh ok...well thanks.'

- The blatant tension of warming hands collectively gripping the steering wheel in rush hour traffic.

- The laughter in conversation as kids take a detour through town to plan what to spend their pocket money on this weekend.

- The scraping brakes of a train just hundreds of metres away that carries the businessmen home.

- The somewhat stifled excitement somewhere within my mind as I take note of a model railway exhibition advertised for January 30th...I'm half way to calling my Dad up for a day out.

- The chuckles of car drivers as the look at me walking in gale force winds.

- The satisfaction that I'll be home in 15 minutes when the people in cars will only be 317 metres down the road.

- If I were to to look at myself I would see a smile creep to the corners of my unusually weathered and worn facial expression as I survey the looming black cloud that promises so much. So much power and energy.

- Then, just for a moment, the smile breaks as I turn a corner to face the incoming cloud...I make a promise to myself as I do each time I see an iminent storm - 'this one I have to see'.

- The strangely natural and inviting smile of a policewoman whom I pass as she zips her underneath fleece jacket.

- Then the first drops begin to fall. Sparsely at first, but then more forcefully. One or two finding the right flight path into the hole on the side of my head that is my left ear...

See. Walking is so much more fun when you don;t have music blasting your head off.

Roast Beef

On my Thursday 4th January 06 I mean 07 (how many times have you done that so far this year?...) walk home from work, I began questioning and arrived at another place of dissatisfaction.
Did anyone else see the clear blue sky this morning? Absolutely beautiful with a nice crisp breeze that really wakes you up.
That was at about twenty past 8...at twenty past 3 this afternoon, the sky had turned grey.
What is it about the colour grey that is just so...digustingly dampening?

Here's where I link my musings with the twentysomethings christian existence...Why are Christians so in love with a GREY existence?

I've been listening to some podcasts by a guy in seattle US called Pastor Mark Driscoll. One of the questions I've heard that has been asked to him is 'How to I know if I;m really a Christian?'.
His answer is: 'If you truly love Christ, then you are a Christian. No doubt'.(ok...so that's paraphrased a bit). I lived a grey life. I would go to church and my faith was never black nor white. I was neither fully submitted to Christ and my heart never fully loved Christ.
Now?...I'm learning. I'm moving, I;m growing and progressing.

Where are you?