I'm sorry, I just can;t help it at times. For example, I was lying in bed for 2 hours trying to sleep. In the end I had to switch the bedside lamp on and empty my head before I could even think of resting my head.
But today was another matter. I arrived back in Melbourne after a couple of days away in New Zealand. Something that hit me whilst in an Auckland Internet cafe was this:
'God, give us your heart is a very dangerous prayer.'
Might not come as much of a surprise to many of you but this generation is writing this into their songs and praying it into their prayers.
I have a theory about this that I have constructed in one afternoon. So there may well be loopholes and gaps which you intellectuals want to poke it...not my problem.
So my thinking is that the generation of christians that I belong to in the western world are emerging from what I think has perhaps been a confusing time for the church (again, please be reminded that these are just my thoughts). We've had the rise in popularity of the mega-church, the prosperity gospel and lots of other teaching claiming 'you'll be rich if you give us yer money', and the gospel according to positive thinking.
I think that this generation are reacting. We are. We are the reaction generation. We are the 'who gives a fcuk' generation. Atleast I know that I am.
And we are very much hungering for something more. We are thirsty for substance and danger and a live that captures our attention. If you're going to live and die for a cause, it may as well be on that you believe in with all your mind, body, heart and soul. The Vision and the Vow by Pete Greig is an amazing book. I truly wish that I had got my head into that book years ago...I still haven't managed to finish it, but the Vision that Pete bases the book around is truly inspiring and makes my heart pound.
I listen to alot of worship music and am hearing more and more songs about justice and the breaking of our hearts for that which breaks God's heart.
It's almost a prayer of remorse. That we're saying 'God, we're sorry that our hearts aren't broken for the least of these...Break them we pray.'
I have prayed some pretty outrageous things in the last few years and am now getting the answers. I would pray things about love. About the fact that our love in our lives is and should be a direct response to the love that christ showed on the cross. I have prayed that I will go wherever God sends me. That I will sing whatever God puts on my heart to sing. That I will go to the ends of the earth for love.
And you know what?
I wouldn't have it any other way. I know that by praying outrageous things, I am going to get trying and outrageous answers to prayer and that my living out that response to prayer may not be easy, or comfortable or seem to make sense to some people, but I will never be able to turn around later and say 'what if...'
God, I never want to be able to ask the question 'what if...'. I mean sometimes it's inevitable...but I don't want to if I don't have to.
That is all.
