You knew it was coming didn't you?...I mean honestly...you knew it was coming.
The one where I get on here and give you my 2 cents on love. And being single.
And how my opinion matters.
This is the 4th year that I have been single...and the 6th consecutive one that I have not been with anyone on valentines day. It's just another day though isn't it. You rush down in the morning having laid wide eyed in your bed praying that you'll get a card from someone. It's the kind of hope that you stash in a cupboard...you know the kind of thing that you get and you put in the bottom drawer of your wardrobe to keep it out of sight and out of mind. But every so often when there is no-one else in the house, you'll run up to your room, close all the doors although no-one is due home from work for a good couple of hours and check that what you stowed away is still safe.
That's the kind of hope that lies in my heart. It's a kind of 'I'm fine with life and where everything is going' but on the days when I'm on my own and all the doors are closed I start to wonder...is all of this ok with me?
I heard something on an album I was listening to today whilst sauntering around town before starting night 10 of 12 and some preacher guy said this: 'The opportunity of a lifetime should be seized in the lifetime of the opportunity'.
I'll just give you a minute to work that out because I've been listening to that album for the last 3 years and only just understood that today.
....
Got it yet?
So how many opportunities have I passed up? How many opportunities of a lifetime have I given up on? How many people of a lifetime have I missed out on?
I don't know. Truth is I'm still working through everything. Although I feel I've had the most normal weekend this weekend gone for months. This is the final week of living at the university and sleeping while no-ones at home. Maybe I'll spend some time looking through that which I have stowed away in my heart and re-evaluating whether or not I should keep it stowed away.
You heard the story of the guys and the talents that were given to them? And by talents I mean biblical money stuffs.
The guy that went out and buried his incurred wrath of the investor. So what does that mean? Perhaps that rather than worrying about ability and worth, I should be available. At least trying to do that which I know is in my heart to do.
How does any of this tie in with valentines day? It doesn't really. All I know is that I'm probably going to end up going to my dinner reservation on my own. Which if I'm completely honest with you about, I'm fine with. I'm not worried about being single. I'm not worried that it's been 4 years since I was with someone. Because I know that my heart is to know and love God. So I want to spend time reading and studying the Bible. And that is what I'm trying to do. And believe me...I need help with that. From God to help me concentrate and to reveal the secrets of his word to me throughout.
Another day...another night shift.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
