Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Eat Sleep Drink Yearn
Have you ever found something that you held so very dear to your heart and tried to share it with people?
At first people are sceptical of the treasures that you have unearthed but once your interest is diverted someone rushes in and tries to make it their own...i just don't comprehend people sometimes.
I'm sure friends never mean to hurt each other...but maybe not being completely honest with others is the key to being hurt. I haven't been honest. And now I kinda hurt..likes the taste of bile at the back of my throat. You say one thing but you mean another. Because really things are a big deal. People are a big deal.
Why do i constantly reach for the unreachable? Because without a challenge life would be as dull as dishwater. But why is romance such a challenge? Why do I come down on myself so hard? Old habits die hard. Old esteem dies hard. Old feelings die hard.
Yet the world keeps on turning.
At first people are sceptical of the treasures that you have unearthed but once your interest is diverted someone rushes in and tries to make it their own...i just don't comprehend people sometimes.
I'm sure friends never mean to hurt each other...but maybe not being completely honest with others is the key to being hurt. I haven't been honest. And now I kinda hurt..likes the taste of bile at the back of my throat. You say one thing but you mean another. Because really things are a big deal. People are a big deal.
Why do i constantly reach for the unreachable? Because without a challenge life would be as dull as dishwater. But why is romance such a challenge? Why do I come down on myself so hard? Old habits die hard. Old esteem dies hard. Old feelings die hard.
Yet the world keeps on turning.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
Like it's that easy
I just noticed that on this blog machine theres a button that says 'create'. As if my a small movement of ones finger you can create . What can you create? What could you create if life included a create button.
God bless perspective.
Imagine that you were a song but no-one would sing you. Imagine that you were a song stuck deep inside the soul of a man waiting to burst out and breathe life into people through whatever form your creator gave you.
God bless perspective.
Imagine that in life you get all that you want when you want it and how you want it. Would you be satisfied? Would you learn anything? Would you ultimately become a better person for the journey?
God bless perspective.
God bless perspective.
Imagine that you were a song but no-one would sing you. Imagine that you were a song stuck deep inside the soul of a man waiting to burst out and breathe life into people through whatever form your creator gave you.
God bless perspective.
Imagine that in life you get all that you want when you want it and how you want it. Would you be satisfied? Would you learn anything? Would you ultimately become a better person for the journey?
God bless perspective.
Every Man's Battle
Jonah suffered for it. Pride. As a reluctant preacher he didn't want to communicate the existence of God to them because of the way they were living.
God gave Jonah a purpose to preach to the Assyrian city of Ninevah.
Basically. I can't be bothered with destructive pride.
I want a home.
God gave Jonah a purpose to preach to the Assyrian city of Ninevah.
Basically. I can't be bothered with destructive pride.
I want a home.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Get out of jail free
That card doesn't exist. It is just another farse in this illusion of life. You can run from a conviction but you'll never be free of it. ou can bury a skeleton in the back garden but weathering of time will expose for all to see.
I'm fed up with conviction. There are things that need to be dealt with. And if these things go undealt with then life gets awkward.
I hate confrontation. I hate my human pride. Swallowing your human pride and humbling yourself to confront something that needs dealing with is damned hard. It's the worst thing ever.
But it has to be done though doesn't it! To become more manly then i spose we gotta face these things. Jesus never ran from confrontation. Jesus never rejected.
Sort it ou Dan.
I'm fed up with conviction. There are things that need to be dealt with. And if these things go undealt with then life gets awkward.
I hate confrontation. I hate my human pride. Swallowing your human pride and humbling yourself to confront something that needs dealing with is damned hard. It's the worst thing ever.
But it has to be done though doesn't it! To become more manly then i spose we gotta face these things. Jesus never ran from confrontation. Jesus never rejected.
Sort it ou Dan.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Mini I AM
First of all...as naff as it sounds - I believe I can fly...what a tune! But only when it's done live by Yolanda Adams. I have this live recording that i bought off itunes...AWESOME stuff.
I watched Napoleon Dynamite last night with some cronies at my gaff. I expect I've already put this down somewhere but when i watched it I was struck by a great sense of empathy for the Uncle Rico character who is desperate to go back in time and change some things about his life and alter the way things turned out by living out his dreams. I don't want to be Uncle Rico. & I wont be.
When someone falls in love with you on the premise of what you look like in a photo is that real love?
Since an inspired discussion with some people from my church I've been giving the whole 'what do i want in a wife' thing a tbit of thought. And you know what...i have absolutely no idea what i want in a wife! When the right one comes along you always know. But then again...maybe I am going to go through life without a mate until i actually know what i want? No i don;t believe that. I've heard far too many stories of people who have said 'i don't want any involvement with men/women (applicable to respective genders)' and actually ended up rather soon after that statement meeting their spouse and shacking up! But i don't wanna make a decision kinda half looking over my shoulder expecting something.
Thats not how God works.
God is never early, he is never late...he is always bang on time. That can be frustrating sometimes. But in retrospective it's so much better for us as people. As individuals doing life.
Clearing the air with a friend is always a good thing. Makes life easier.
Listen to the Cinematic Orchestra - Man With a Movie Camera...amazing album.
I watched Napoleon Dynamite last night with some cronies at my gaff. I expect I've already put this down somewhere but when i watched it I was struck by a great sense of empathy for the Uncle Rico character who is desperate to go back in time and change some things about his life and alter the way things turned out by living out his dreams. I don't want to be Uncle Rico. & I wont be.
When someone falls in love with you on the premise of what you look like in a photo is that real love?
Since an inspired discussion with some people from my church I've been giving the whole 'what do i want in a wife' thing a tbit of thought. And you know what...i have absolutely no idea what i want in a wife! When the right one comes along you always know. But then again...maybe I am going to go through life without a mate until i actually know what i want? No i don;t believe that. I've heard far too many stories of people who have said 'i don't want any involvement with men/women (applicable to respective genders)' and actually ended up rather soon after that statement meeting their spouse and shacking up! But i don't wanna make a decision kinda half looking over my shoulder expecting something.
Thats not how God works.
God is never early, he is never late...he is always bang on time. That can be frustrating sometimes. But in retrospective it's so much better for us as people. As individuals doing life.
Clearing the air with a friend is always a good thing. Makes life easier.
Listen to the Cinematic Orchestra - Man With a Movie Camera...amazing album.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Dymo
Right. I work in a christian bookshop. I wont say which one but if you know me and where i live then im sure youre able to put 2 and 2 together.
What really hacks me off about christian music is that no-one wants to do anything different. Everyone is just reinventing the same old stuff. But I say let us not be different for the sake of being different but pioneer a whole new movement! Pioneer a whole new musical sound of music be it for worship or whatever. But PLEASE someone help to take music somewhere new because I fear for the generations of christians to come with the current state of christian music.
(At work blatantly being lazy)
What really hacks me off about christian music is that no-one wants to do anything different. Everyone is just reinventing the same old stuff. But I say let us not be different for the sake of being different but pioneer a whole new movement! Pioneer a whole new musical sound of music be it for worship or whatever. But PLEASE someone help to take music somewhere new because I fear for the generations of christians to come with the current state of christian music.
(At work blatantly being lazy)
Friday, May 05, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Broken post
So i stubbed my toe at work today and think i broke it. so i took a trip to the hospital with my housemates...was kinda like a gang outing. So i gotta rest it for the next week and not do too much exercise..shouldn't be too hard.
I'm listening to the cinematic orchestra at the mo which is quite cool actually. didn't think i'd enjoy it that much but its good fun....
need to go to bed...tired and fat.
god bless xx
I'm listening to the cinematic orchestra at the mo which is quite cool actually. didn't think i'd enjoy it that much but its good fun....
need to go to bed...tired and fat.
god bless xx
Saturday, April 29, 2006
recovery positional breathing
one thing i've realised...i need to love myself and bear in mind that god loves me so much that he gave christ...you seen the passion?...that was for me...and for you...that just dwarves all my issues...gods love is bigger than anyone, anything, and any force...besides god
Thursday, April 27, 2006
You look just like your father
I got a message on my land line no. from someone called claire wishing me a happy easter...I don't know anyone called claire who would have my land line no.
If it was you raise your hand.
What am i doing? I need to be getting my butt in gear with this dissertation...i feel like i'm finished though. I feel like the degree is over and i can get on with life...but i'm not so i need to get my stuff together.
Get your act together boy.
If it was you raise your hand.
What am i doing? I need to be getting my butt in gear with this dissertation...i feel like i'm finished though. I feel like the degree is over and i can get on with life...but i'm not so i need to get my stuff together.
Get your act together boy.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Silence
It's so funny...one of the biggest cliches ever - silence is so loud. You wait in anticipation for something...like a thunderbolt or an answer and the surrounding silence just screams like a juvenile that misses a parent.
Stories. Thats what life is. That's how you learn most effectively i think. When you look through the bible, all that jesus tells us is in the form of story. It's what captivates peoples imaginations and just...
I'm staring at my bookshelf and there are loads of books that i don't need. Sure there are theres things in there that i may find intersting and that might teach me a thing or two. But you don't learn from reading...you learn from the application of ideas to situations.
What can i apply to my life...what do i need to apply to my life?
You know what i think? I think that too many people are going through the world disappointed.
If we spend a few minutes in silence each day gathering thoughts and thinking objectively about life then maybe we would be collectively happier?
(Listening to Norma Jean)
Stories. Thats what life is. That's how you learn most effectively i think. When you look through the bible, all that jesus tells us is in the form of story. It's what captivates peoples imaginations and just...
I'm staring at my bookshelf and there are loads of books that i don't need. Sure there are theres things in there that i may find intersting and that might teach me a thing or two. But you don't learn from reading...you learn from the application of ideas to situations.
What can i apply to my life...what do i need to apply to my life?
You know what i think? I think that too many people are going through the world disappointed.
If we spend a few minutes in silence each day gathering thoughts and thinking objectively about life then maybe we would be collectively happier?
(Listening to Norma Jean)
Saturday, April 22, 2006
The beginners challenge
Where am i today? Where do i feel like being? do i feel like making a mountain from a molehill or do i feel like being realistic or even pesimistic...truth be told i don't know.
I'm quite excited about going to see Israel and New Breed tonight in london and catching up with a friend.
My life is in my hands. And if i dare to dream then who's to say that the dreams i dream to dream really will come true? (HAHA!!)
If you've spent more than an evening with me or counselled me til the late hours of the morning then you'll know that all i need from time to time is perspective. Thank God for healing.
Thank God for the healing that he brings through the power of the holy spirit.
At least if i was screwed up over it I'm not anymore because of the magic thing that is prayer.
(listening to jill scott when im at work...baaaad)()
I'm quite excited about going to see Israel and New Breed tonight in london and catching up with a friend.
My life is in my hands. And if i dare to dream then who's to say that the dreams i dream to dream really will come true? (HAHA!!)
If you've spent more than an evening with me or counselled me til the late hours of the morning then you'll know that all i need from time to time is perspective. Thank God for healing.
Thank God for the healing that he brings through the power of the holy spirit.
At least if i was screwed up over it I'm not anymore because of the magic thing that is prayer.
(listening to jill scott when im at work...baaaad)()
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Edit Moderation
by going for something in life that you don;t want to do - failing is not disappointment. but attempting to reach your dreams and really going for them comes with what may seem to be a higher risk and sense of anticipation.
Don't be afraid of taking a risk. Greater satisfaction will come from at least attempting your dreams than getting through life having never looked upon them as a viable option.
Don't be afraid of taking a risk. Greater satisfaction will come from at least attempting your dreams than getting through life having never looked upon them as a viable option.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Why should the fire die?
My sister and brother in law are going to Australia for a year in a few days....it's daunting.
This marks the beginning of a new era. Dan, God and the World....Amazing how much difference one phone call can make. The last few days i've been stuck in a lull...no the last 10-14 days. I've felt sleepy and like...real down...but when you world strikes you down you get back up and you fight. You fight til your knuckles go white from clenching them as fists. I want to defend the desires of my heart and plans that god has made for me from the disruption of sex drugs and drink.
I want to enter this world and...just do what i'm meant to...so i gotta try different things...otheriwse if i don't try how will i know what i'm sposed and not sposed to do?
This is it. This is the start. The start of the rest of my life. And maybe the beginning of an amazing journey...where will it go? I don't know...and to all intents and purposes...i don;t care. As long as I'm living something then i will hoipefully be able to discern whats right for me and what's not.
(Check out Nickel Creek)
This marks the beginning of a new era. Dan, God and the World....Amazing how much difference one phone call can make. The last few days i've been stuck in a lull...no the last 10-14 days. I've felt sleepy and like...real down...but when you world strikes you down you get back up and you fight. You fight til your knuckles go white from clenching them as fists. I want to defend the desires of my heart and plans that god has made for me from the disruption of sex drugs and drink.
I want to enter this world and...just do what i'm meant to...so i gotta try different things...otheriwse if i don't try how will i know what i'm sposed and not sposed to do?
This is it. This is the start. The start of the rest of my life. And maybe the beginning of an amazing journey...where will it go? I don't know...and to all intents and purposes...i don;t care. As long as I'm living something then i will hoipefully be able to discern whats right for me and what's not.
(Check out Nickel Creek)
Monday, April 17, 2006
Beauty killed the beast
Yes I watched King Kong...who do i contact in regards to getting the last 3 hours of my life back?!
Sure the blonde chick was hot...but the film had pretty much NO substance to it. People go to island insearch of film-making opportunity then find kong. beauty falls in love with the beast. but the film sucks. Life is not happily ever after. life involves struggles that we don't see on film. hollywood is one big farse and i'm growing tired of it. where's the truth? where is the honesty in the media and in the world?
Give us a well tuned and gritty honest break!
Sure the blonde chick was hot...but the film had pretty much NO substance to it. People go to island insearch of film-making opportunity then find kong. beauty falls in love with the beast. but the film sucks. Life is not happily ever after. life involves struggles that we don't see on film. hollywood is one big farse and i'm growing tired of it. where's the truth? where is the honesty in the media and in the world?
Give us a well tuned and gritty honest break!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Power and purpose
I'm desperatly searching. I'm searching for something to fill the void within. By searching I'm reverting to old ways - old mindsets that I thought and hoped I had left behind.
I don't have the self confidence i should as a christian. I'm searching for personal affirmation and I don't know where to find it. Underneath the cool calm exterior lies a cracked, fragile child longing for a companion.
God should be all of this. I should allow God to be all these things to me and until i do i don't think that i'll find what i'm looking for.
God let my affirmation come from you. Let who i am not be based on the friends i keep or the social circles i move in, but in the blood of the risen king, my christ.
God be my purpose.
i hate this. it happens alot to me. maybe its the attack that i get. god protect me and guard and affirm me with your loving hand
I don't have the self confidence i should as a christian. I'm searching for personal affirmation and I don't know where to find it. Underneath the cool calm exterior lies a cracked, fragile child longing for a companion.
God should be all of this. I should allow God to be all these things to me and until i do i don't think that i'll find what i'm looking for.
God let my affirmation come from you. Let who i am not be based on the friends i keep or the social circles i move in, but in the blood of the risen king, my christ.
God be my purpose.
i hate this. it happens alot to me. maybe its the attack that i get. god protect me and guard and affirm me with your loving hand
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Living Next Door to Malice
1. Neighbours episode titles provide amazing blog post titles
2. ...Home is great...but in small doses.
Thig change. People change. Friendships and relationships change.
I've been on the isle of wight for a few days and the rest has been well recieved. Sleeping til 10 in the morning has been truly amazing.
I went to a little place called Libertys on Union Street and had a hot choc and did the journal thing.
There are so many memories here. Places, smells (not good ones...flippin raw sewage). I've been contemplating coming home to study next term...and ive almost definatly decided against it. It'll be good next term as ill be able to travel and come home more.
These days have felt quite like limbo. Life hasn't really gone anywhere.
Weekend soon...sorry for a break from the profound.
(lestening to israel & new breed)
2. ...Home is great...but in small doses.
Thig change. People change. Friendships and relationships change.
I've been on the isle of wight for a few days and the rest has been well recieved. Sleeping til 10 in the morning has been truly amazing.
I went to a little place called Libertys on Union Street and had a hot choc and did the journal thing.
There are so many memories here. Places, smells (not good ones...flippin raw sewage). I've been contemplating coming home to study next term...and ive almost definatly decided against it. It'll be good next term as ill be able to travel and come home more.
These days have felt quite like limbo. Life hasn't really gone anywhere.
Weekend soon...sorry for a break from the profound.
(lestening to israel & new breed)
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