Ok so that's a bit of an over exageration.
But I'm participating in a study of the body clock which goes over 4 weeks and for this weekend I am in a dark room sitting in bed. How could life get any better you ask? Well I get paid and am gonna put the cash towards a ticket to sydney.
I've been spending my time working between Mcdonalds and my bookshop. Oooh did I mention that I'm hideously addicted to 24 season 4?...well I am and I love it!!
I move house this week. Just down the road..but I must say that I'm really looking forward to getting into a home. Not that my present accomodation isn't a home...but whenever I'm at home I just don;t feel as though I can relax. Whe I sit in my sty of a room I'm almost itching to do some work and I feel guilty for just sitting around watching dvds because I associate that room with my degree for which I am due to get the results very soon!
Man it;s all kicking off at the moment...I'm hitting the job search hard. But if you want a full time job in retail in Guildford - quite a large university town just after all the freshers arrive in town then you;re gonna have a hard time working through all the crap and getting that one job that you really want.
On Wednesday I was at work and as usual in the morning we sat down with a luke warm cup of this time peppermint tea as I had brought in some tea bags which I have now haphazardly left there. We looked through some devotional notes and the quote unquote word for wednesday was about checking your ego. Just about being humble. Before we get gifted the larger things in our life to do we have to work through the little things...and have to be obedient in the things that god appoints us to do. Like work at Mcdonalds.
Then the word for thursday was abvout being under construction. 1 John 3v2 says in the KJV bible - ...it doth not yet appear what we shall be...
Which to me is a great concept. Not so I can go...'right...God I believe that you are gonna give me...a ferrari even though it is not I call it into being' or something to that extent.
Which when put into practise is a great action of faith.
So I'm calling into being the things that I believe God has for me. The salary. The Girl. The voice. The songs.
I start reading encounter with God tomorrow. I promised someone I would read it...last time I tried to read something with someone it didn;t exactly go too well...didn;t really agree with alot of stuff in the Purpose Driven Life.
Life goes on..God got me out of Mcdonalds in time and granted me favour.
Faithworx
(Listening to Bill Withers on someone elses laptop while I;m blogging and being antisocial...score)
Love y'allxx
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Five Thousand and counting
The internet has spawned a new age of addiction and loneliness.
Myspace, faceparty, islandoo, all this stuff..has spawned an addiction to sitting infront of a screen in a barely lit room formulating conspiracy theories and drinking diet Dr.Pepper.
With computer has come desperation and sore square eyes.
Generation X would have had a simpler time going to a park every sunday afternoon with their sweetheart once a week and chatting about this and that slowly but surely falling in love. Times were simpler.
Now it's all you are not complete unless you are with someone.
I am complete in christ.
I have all I need in the promises and deeds of the cross.
But what it is to hear the words we want to hear from that pretty girl we like. What it is to be close. To bury your head in the arms of someone who wants to be in yours. To feel the heartbeat of anothers breast...God didn;t create man to be alone.
But until my time I shall strive to be all that God made me to be.
Myspace, faceparty, islandoo, all this stuff..has spawned an addiction to sitting infront of a screen in a barely lit room formulating conspiracy theories and drinking diet Dr.Pepper.
With computer has come desperation and sore square eyes.
Generation X would have had a simpler time going to a park every sunday afternoon with their sweetheart once a week and chatting about this and that slowly but surely falling in love. Times were simpler.
Now it's all you are not complete unless you are with someone.
I am complete in christ.
I have all I need in the promises and deeds of the cross.
But what it is to hear the words we want to hear from that pretty girl we like. What it is to be close. To bury your head in the arms of someone who wants to be in yours. To feel the heartbeat of anothers breast...God didn;t create man to be alone.
But until my time I shall strive to be all that God made me to be.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Ouch
So I'm at work...but I had to get this down.
I've just been struck be a stomach wrenching revelation...
I'm very much fearful that actually...I'm not going anywhere.
People I admire and respect and love dearly as friends are getting engaged, putting bands and musical projects together, travelling...the whole lot...but I'm working 6 day weeks between McDonalds and a Christian Bookshop.
I want to go somewhere...who took my road map away?
I've just been struck be a stomach wrenching revelation...
I'm very much fearful that actually...I'm not going anywhere.
People I admire and respect and love dearly as friends are getting engaged, putting bands and musical projects together, travelling...the whole lot...but I'm working 6 day weeks between McDonalds and a Christian Bookshop.
I want to go somewhere...who took my road map away?
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Boys and the Beats
I feel like a care-free teenager.
20 minutes of clumsy hap-hazard foot ball then the real wildness kicks in.
A thunder storm begins with the pitter patter of small refreshing drops that fall upon our sweaty heavily slothed bodies. The decision is passed that we don't want to get too wet while we're trying to keep ourselves going for the evenings activities.
It was one of those scenes where we should've been drinking refreshingly cool white lightning cider and smoking poorly rolled cigarettes taking a 5 minute fag and drink break every 2 or 3 goals.
The usually beautiful game was barred by the inconsiderately parked cars and unamuzingly placed pillars in the bottom carpark.
Then a true act of vandalism happens...a clumsy shot...that one tiny lapse of concentration...that tiny little surplus rush of adrenaline...
death to the security camera...we won;t be playing there for a while.
Damn kids.
20 minutes of clumsy hap-hazard foot ball then the real wildness kicks in.
A thunder storm begins with the pitter patter of small refreshing drops that fall upon our sweaty heavily slothed bodies. The decision is passed that we don't want to get too wet while we're trying to keep ourselves going for the evenings activities.
It was one of those scenes where we should've been drinking refreshingly cool white lightning cider and smoking poorly rolled cigarettes taking a 5 minute fag and drink break every 2 or 3 goals.
The usually beautiful game was barred by the inconsiderately parked cars and unamuzingly placed pillars in the bottom carpark.
Then a true act of vandalism happens...a clumsy shot...that one tiny lapse of concentration...that tiny little surplus rush of adrenaline...
death to the security camera...we won;t be playing there for a while.
Damn kids.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Poetic Justice...
I have a strange sense of deja vu...except in the deja vu my room was the other way round...but circumstances were the same...I was watching smallville and typing something on my computer...well admittedly that's most days...to my shame.
I've got box-set fever. Isn't that what life boils down to? Mundane jobs, dvd box-sets of a life we always wanted and dreams of a life less ordinary.
It shouldn't have to...but...how on earth do we morph the mundane to the purposeful? Can just being a credible person in a workplace be a supernatural feat?
I want to paint. Not with a brush on a canvas. But with a pen on paper. I want to capture peoples imaginations and help them dream. I want to see natural beauties and then share them with anyone who cares to read.
When in Zoolander the blondie woman says that an aboriginal said that a picture steals part of your soul. Is that why the pen is mightier than the sword?
Here's an exercise that maybe I'll take up in private of taking a photo and then just writing about it...trying to incarcerate (you see the thing I have with words is that I'm not sure what they mean but I pick up on words in conversation and then try and put them in context in a series of trial and error moments of...genius) the image within a readers mind....
This is a journey that I want to embark upon. I want to travel. I want to go to Paris, Devon, Moscow, Kenya, the Grand Canyon, Sydney and New Zealand.
I have many pictures to paint. I have many things to sort along the way. I want to go sit on a beach with my camera and a pad of paper.
I have this feeling that there is a vision that God has for me to run with. And I want to go and spend some time chasing the heart of God.
I've been putting together a little plan of the next year or so. And I'm not going to tell you what it is as I think that it's something I need to keep to myself.
So...Lana Lang huh?
I've got box-set fever. Isn't that what life boils down to? Mundane jobs, dvd box-sets of a life we always wanted and dreams of a life less ordinary.
It shouldn't have to...but...how on earth do we morph the mundane to the purposeful? Can just being a credible person in a workplace be a supernatural feat?
I want to paint. Not with a brush on a canvas. But with a pen on paper. I want to capture peoples imaginations and help them dream. I want to see natural beauties and then share them with anyone who cares to read.
When in Zoolander the blondie woman says that an aboriginal said that a picture steals part of your soul. Is that why the pen is mightier than the sword?
Here's an exercise that maybe I'll take up in private of taking a photo and then just writing about it...trying to incarcerate (you see the thing I have with words is that I'm not sure what they mean but I pick up on words in conversation and then try and put them in context in a series of trial and error moments of...genius) the image within a readers mind....
This is a journey that I want to embark upon. I want to travel. I want to go to Paris, Devon, Moscow, Kenya, the Grand Canyon, Sydney and New Zealand.
I have many pictures to paint. I have many things to sort along the way. I want to go sit on a beach with my camera and a pad of paper.
I have this feeling that there is a vision that God has for me to run with. And I want to go and spend some time chasing the heart of God.
I've been putting together a little plan of the next year or so. And I'm not going to tell you what it is as I think that it's something I need to keep to myself.
So...Lana Lang huh?
Monday, September 04, 2006
Just a thought
How often do we hear songs, learn the words so that they are second nature to them, and then spew them every week in church as part of the regularities that occur? Well...I think quite a lot...
When was the last time we thought about what it is that we sing on a sunday. What it is that we are confessing to on a Sunday?
For me this is quite an issue. Where I work, I listen to christian 'worship' albums 7-8 times a day sometimes varying, sometimes it's the same album time after time!!! And I become de-sensitised to what it is that I subscribe to as a faith. I lose a sense of genuinity and just find everything that I hear and see contrived, false and quite honestly...plastic!
God is the ALMIGHTY...as a good friend of mine said...not the ALMATEY. Has christianity got too cosmo? Has it crashed through the sensible barriers of consumerism? Are christians more consumed with pushing books, cd's and dvd's from shelves than delivering a spiritually reputable message?
I'll leave that one out there.
Love God through all the sh*t...there's a concept. That's what we're called to do is it not? Not just when things are going our way. Whether prayer is answered or not...still love God.
Still love God.
It's harder than it looks.
When was the last time we thought about what it is that we sing on a sunday. What it is that we are confessing to on a Sunday?
For me this is quite an issue. Where I work, I listen to christian 'worship' albums 7-8 times a day sometimes varying, sometimes it's the same album time after time!!! And I become de-sensitised to what it is that I subscribe to as a faith. I lose a sense of genuinity and just find everything that I hear and see contrived, false and quite honestly...plastic!
God is the ALMIGHTY...as a good friend of mine said...not the ALMATEY. Has christianity got too cosmo? Has it crashed through the sensible barriers of consumerism? Are christians more consumed with pushing books, cd's and dvd's from shelves than delivering a spiritually reputable message?
I'll leave that one out there.
Love God through all the sh*t...there's a concept. That's what we're called to do is it not? Not just when things are going our way. Whether prayer is answered or not...still love God.
Still love God.
It's harder than it looks.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
The Farse Show
That's right...I can play with words.
Against advice, I've been reading Disappointment With God by Philip Yancey.
What am I disappointed with?
I don;t know...To be honest, I can;t quite place my stubby little finger on the precise factor, but all I know is that it surfaces every so often and I enter into a recession.
A recession. Like Recess. A 15-20 mintue break from the plastic glamour of life lessons. Recess. The time when problems boil, tempers fray and romances for some unknown reason bloom.
It's a time of social activity. People huddle together patting themselves on the back telling each other just how good they are and how much better they are than the other kids in the playground.
Recession. A setback. A sleeping Policeman. A speed hump that tells you, even though the road is clear, the sun is setting and the geese are migrating south for winter, that you must SLOW DOWN.
Or a Recession. A lapse. Like a broken Burt Bacharach 12" record. You get to the bridge of 'What the World Needs Now', you have your tumbler of whiskey, open log fire, beautiful tabby cat sprawled across the fire rug when all of a sudden...a jitter. Burt and the whole Burt orchestra are stuck in a 3/4 second loop.
A Lapse. An emotional turnover.
Month End.
Against advice, I've been reading Disappointment With God by Philip Yancey.
What am I disappointed with?
I don;t know...To be honest, I can;t quite place my stubby little finger on the precise factor, but all I know is that it surfaces every so often and I enter into a recession.
A recession. Like Recess. A 15-20 mintue break from the plastic glamour of life lessons. Recess. The time when problems boil, tempers fray and romances for some unknown reason bloom.
It's a time of social activity. People huddle together patting themselves on the back telling each other just how good they are and how much better they are than the other kids in the playground.
Recession. A setback. A sleeping Policeman. A speed hump that tells you, even though the road is clear, the sun is setting and the geese are migrating south for winter, that you must SLOW DOWN.
Or a Recession. A lapse. Like a broken Burt Bacharach 12" record. You get to the bridge of 'What the World Needs Now', you have your tumbler of whiskey, open log fire, beautiful tabby cat sprawled across the fire rug when all of a sudden...a jitter. Burt and the whole Burt orchestra are stuck in a 3/4 second loop.
A Lapse. An emotional turnover.
Month End.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Writing on the Walls
Theres something awfully compelling about the sky at dusk. As soon at the clouds glaze over with the yellow of a sinking sun it's almost as if there;s a race to go and find that beauty spot where for the alotted time spent there, things fit into place.
You don;t need a 5 year plan, you don;t have to learn to drive, your martial status means nothing because for those select seconds time is dead.
Reading books is all good and fair but they offer stale and impractical hope. I;ve never been much of an application kinda guy...does Christianity require you to be a certain 'type' of person?
I;m just pissed off because I feel left out.
Better luck next time.
You don;t need a 5 year plan, you don;t have to learn to drive, your martial status means nothing because for those select seconds time is dead.
Reading books is all good and fair but they offer stale and impractical hope. I;ve never been much of an application kinda guy...does Christianity require you to be a certain 'type' of person?
I;m just pissed off because I feel left out.
Better luck next time.
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